Would you have sex with Wayne Rooney?

So not for the first time in his short life, the spud faced goal machine has apparently been caught engaging in some rumpy pumpy with a prostitute. This potentially monumental revelation has left me wondering whether I'd have sex with Wayne myself, be it free of charge or in exchange for some of his hard earned cash. After all, first and foremost I am a patriot, right? And yet doubts linger. Anyway.

For the uninformed, this is a recent picture of Roo.

So, would you?

Real patriots F the Army!

I'd say about 35-40% of our female so-called "celebrities" in Argentina have gotten their start through fucking a footballer. It's certainly a quick money-earner... You don't have to be a prostitute - but it helps!

Yeah - I want some of that cash. No kissing though - whores have their code. <_<

No kissing though - whores have their code. <_<

This reminds me: in the movies not only is there always kissing but there's endless bloody talking. Seriously, if a prostitute character comes on the screen you just know a "subversive, countering your prejudices stylely" monologue is coming up. Yawn.

This reminds me: in the movies not only is there always kissing but there's endless bloody talking. Seriously, if a prostitute character comes on the screen you just know a "subversive, countering your prejudices stylely" monologue is coming up. Yawn.

I liked this Jennifer Thompson's morals though: "Paying a girl to come back to your marital home when your pregnant missus is out is taking it a step too far". Presumably just simple sex behind her back is totally fine though? Where does this high-ground come from???

(Only it's never 'simple sex', is it? They're always tiresomely rampant in bed: "He's an athlete on the pitch - and he gave us a workout we won't forget." )

Taiwanese television explains the whole Rooney situation

I liked this Jennifer Thompson's morals though: "Paying a girl to come back to your marital home when your pregnant missus is out is taking it a step too far". Presumably just simple sex behind her back is totally fine though? Where does this high-ground come from???

Tabloid morality, gotta love it. Also worth remembering, when the story is an exclusive, the girl is treated rather sympathetically. If its picked up in "dispatches", well we best call her a slapper and a tart, etc! Gasp, honestly!

You should have somehow included Crouch in this as well.

Like:

How much would you want for a Crouch-Rooney threesome?

You already know you're coming out of there scarred for life. So it has to be worth your while.

Anything under eight figures would be a disgrace.

How much would you want for a Crouch-Rooney threesome?

The Crouch-Rooney partnership may recover yet, then!

This is a hilarious topic. and my answer is a big huge NO. Hence why he had to PAY someone to sleep with him, they need compensation! sorry, but he looks like shrek !

Thats exactly what i was thinking. Poor Rooney (or not).

Regarding...

Due to legal reasons my client is restricted in his ability to make numerous jokes at this juncture in the thread!

Yours,

Frederick's Lawyer

^Well if you could inform your client that that's the main reason for the post... Much obliged.

A FOOTBALLERS STORY...told through simple mathematics

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There are plenty of men I would sleep with... he is definitely not one of them. Not only is he a soccer player (ugh), but his face is all kinds of unfortunate.

NO <_<

So not for the first time in his short life, the spud faced goal machine has apparently been caught engaging in some rumpy pumpy with a prostitute. This potentially monumental revelation has left me wondering whether I'd have sex with Wayne myself, be it free of charge or in exchange for some of his hard earned cash. After all, first and foremost I am a patriot, right? And yet doubts linger. Anyway.

For the uninformed, this is a recent picture of Roo.

So, would you?

yes i could, if he makes me laugh and has interesting conversations.

A FOOTBALLERS STORY...told through simple mathematics

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x

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ZOMG

what a magnificent, nay elegant equation

ive always hated on the notion of getting fucked without getting kissed. with this Rooney situation, id not mind it one bit