The Totally Spurious Victoria's Secret Thread

[Siemgi]

Candice Swineypool tops Maxim Hot List

Best known for being "just a shy girl who grew up on a diary farm in Africa who had big dreams and small underwear, just like you, but better and sexier" as well as a lover of Brazil's huge sexual energy and the bra VS has her shilling right now (she was quoted as reading from her cue cards, with a hair twirl whilst arching her back, "this is my most favourite bra ever, even topping the one I was shilling before and I love how you can wear it under anything and yet show some straps and us girls love showing straps, right? Right!").

Swooneypoul, who, little known fact, grew up on a farm in South Africa and was very shy, is now slutting it up as one of Victoria's Secret Angels, following in the footsteps of big fashion names such as Adriana Lima, Stephanie Seymour, Pamela Anderson, Heidi Klum, Tyra Banks and Adriana Lima and can be seen in their latest ads for their new bra, called the Unfathomable, which has adjustable multi-way straps and clips both on the front and the back and can be worn while boxing, a sport Ms Sweeneypoel very much enjoys, and offer maximum support while also looking cute and pushed-up.

When reached for comment, Candydeedee, as her friends on a farm in South Africa where she grew up call her said "Suck it Kate!". The Duchess of Cambridge could not be reached for comment.



Shy, just so shy.

[CandleVixen]

That needed a spew alert.

[Stormbringer]

THIS should have been the song for last year's "Shipwrecked" segment.

 

[ILUVAdrianaLima]

[models990]

[Mary17]

pleaseeeeeeeeee helpppppppp hi where I can get photos of VS with the number? before using this pagehttp://vsbrowser.alt...rowser_bis.html but for months this offline. 

[Siemgi]

While this thread is always the right thread, this isn't the thread for that kind of question.

It would be the one you'd go for if you wanted a chart of which Angel would invite which to their wedding, though.

[CandleVixen]

^

[tiika]

   

[riggy]

lol

[popoyez]

wow it is a so amazing thread to learn. i like it and read it again also.

[Siemgi]

Either you're Britney Spears or you really needed to get to 10 posts...

[Stormbringer]

 

[Siemgi]

[Taylor Swift says:]

Hi, everyone, I'm Taylor Swift. I hope that everyone had a safe and happy Thanksgiving, I know I did. I spent the better part of the day in bed and then ate Karlie's turkey. I'm just posting here to remind you that on Dec 2, I'll be performing at my second straight Victoria's Secret Fashion show, which will air on Dec 9 on CBS and features lots and lots of me and my besties the VS Angels Karlie, Lily, Adriana, Alessandra, Doutzen, Behati and Candice. Don't forget to watch and go get 1989, while you're at it (instead of, say, PRISM).

Once again, happy Thanksgiving everyone!

[CandleVixen]

[Nar]

Congratulations to newest VS Angel Taylor Swift!

 

In a most unexpected turn of events, VS overlord Ed Razek just announced that the lovely Taylor Swift, She of the Amazing Voice, is joining the illustrious company's Angel Roster. Sophia Neophitou, uncharacteristically excited, gushed :

"Taylor embodies the brand so well, she's everything we want the public to associate with our brand. She's blonde, she can speak fluent English, she can walk and she sure can blow kisses with the best of them. She's IT"

 

 

Ed unsurprisingly, had money on his mind when he hired Karlie n°2 and had this to say :

"The VSFS is getting bigger and more expensive each year so we had this amazing idea to save up a bit : Why not hire a singer as a model/Angel? And so we contacted Taylor (our first choice) and she was totally on board.

She planned the whole thing : she'll have an outfit in each segment (so we won't need any other performers) and she'll walk up and down the runway in her undies like a boss b**ch while simultaneously singing and getting in the other models' way. Can you believe this girl?"

 

Monica Mitro was equally enthusiastic about the new Angel, adding :

"We knew she'd be perfect from the get go. She was really invested in the show last year, going as far as giving cat-walking lessons to some of our models and I can tell you there was a definite improvement."

 

Angel Taylor seen holding Not-Taylor model's hand for teaching purposes.

The model pictured above did not fall.

 

Of course, hiring Taylor opens up a whole world of creative opportunities for the show, namely the 2015 Double Fantasy Bra : the 2 BFF Bras which will be worn by both Swift and her certified BFF&E Karlie Kloss.

 

The singer turned Angel-singer is reportedly fitting in well with her other fellow non-Karlie Angels and anonymous sources confirmed she may be getting a second BFF : Has-been Angel Izabel Goulart.

 

 

May God help us all.

[Cult Icon]

There are rumors that you two are only friends.

 

I have to say that these rumors are untrue.

 

I pronounce you, Wife & Wife!!!

 

 

 

 

 

[CandleVixen]

^ and ^^ Spew alerts!

Loved them. I needed the laugh tonight. thank you!

[Nar]

^You're welcome Candy  

 

You guys, this thread is now officially legit:

 

From the VSFS14 thread:

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3Xj8WjzG-k

 

Nice to know Taylor wears the pants in the relationship 

 

 

You beat me to it.

 

 

Karlie just turned into the bottom bitch. 

I can't believe Taylor sat there and told the model how they were going to walk.

 

Told you she gives "catwalking" lessons, didn't I?  :neo2:

 

In other news, Izabel Goulart has taken our esteemed fellow BZ members' advice to heart and shall now be changing her signature pose from the infamous hairflip to this:

 

Try to top that, Swift  :avada:

 

Also, I'm so ready for porny Kaylor fanfiction. It needs to become a thing like now.

Wouldn't mind a Taylor/Karlie/Cara threesome story. I'd ship this :brows: .

[CandleVixen]

Hey Nar,

what was that link you posted in the what made you smile/laugh today thread yesterday about Kaylor?

(I can't copy and paste, IE hates me)