Age Gap Relationships

Hi. I know I don't post that much anymore. Particularly since chilaX died. I really miss chilaX. I don't know what it was, but I felt more at home there than I do here, but anyway...

I was just wondering what your opinions were on age gap relationships. This includes friendships as well. I was recently told that my friend, who is 11 and a half years older than me is a filthy pervert who only wants to have sex with me because he has just turned 31 and I am 19... they said that if I meet up with him he is definitely going to rape me even though I have known him for over a year, we've been speaking on the phone for that long and he has been nothing but a friend to me (even though I admit I have a bit of a crush on him at the mo... ) and has never pressured me into meeting up or said anything inappropriate. I was quite hurt by that and would like to know what people think about the subject. I have a bunch of questions which I would like you to answer:

1) Do you think that people with an age gap between them can be friends and why?

2) Do you think the stage they are at in life affects their friendship/relationship at all? Howso? e.g. Someone who is 15 and in secondary/high school and someone who is 20, already working and has a career would be more difficult than two people who are both working and are 25 and 30.

3) Do you think there is a certain number of years between two people that will guarantee no friendship at all being formed (don't state the obvious like a 1-year-old and a 60-year-old )? Why do you think this?

4) Does age affect whether someone would be interested in being your friend or not? Why?

5) Do you think that people with an age gap between them can have a relationship together and why?

6) If an older guy is attracted to a younger woman does it make him a "filthy old man" in your eyes or is it perfectly acceptable? Why? Does your response depend on any other factors (other than age)? e.g. how he acts because of this attraction.

7) If an older guy falls in love with someone younger than him does it make him a "filthy old man" in your eyes or is it perfectly acceptable? Why? Does your response depend on any other factors?

8) Should it be acceptable for people to have an interest in others much older or younger than them? Why?

9) Do you think there is a limit on how big an age gap can be until it is considered "gross" or "perverted"? If you do, what do you think is appropriate/inappropriate and why?

10) Don't really have a 10th question, but if you have any others that would fit the topic, please post them.

Thanks for taking the time to read this post. Hope this hasn't been posted before and is kinda interesting. Look forward to hearing all of your opinions.

I won't answer those rather redundant guestions separately but I think you can't put any limits to age cap. The age difference means nothing if two persons respect and love/like each other. Others may think its gross or perverted but they don't know what they are talking about and it isn't their business. If you really trust 100% that 31 years old guy then it is your choice whether you start being with him or not. Others might be talking about him raping you because they are narrow-minded. However, if they provide you good arguments then you should be careful!

I agree about ChilaX, it was a real home!

^ well said

^ agreed. i think that if you guys love eachother and care about eachother, then go for it... i mean, jesse metcalfe is 12 years older than me... but i'm still dating him (in my dreams) lol... damn he's so good looking... but anyway, just be carefyl hun and if u do meet himm and he tries to do something to you, then get away!!!!!!!!!!!

:trout:

u can do that to him

My best friend just got married this morning to a guy that is 15 years older than her. I have never ever seen her so happy with anyone, so I really don't think age matters. And it's not like he's loaded down in money or anything, Carlo and jaimie just really hit it off...so if you really care about each other, I don't think age really factors in

In general, I personally get along much better with people much older than me, because I really have issues dealing with immaturity. A lot of college aged people are immature. I was always described as one of those kids that was 8 going on 28 type thing. I'm almost 22 and I have a bunch of friends that are over 29. They're really fun, amazing people.

I think it's hard to date or be really close to people in hs or below once you've been out for a few years because you change so much when you don't live with your parents and you're exposed to life beyond hs. Plus, legal issues (jailbait) definitely add to the difficulty level. Same with people over 21 and under 21 in the states. Not impossible, but you can't really go out to bars or clubs that are 21 and up. Not impossible, but there is that minor roadblock.

Still, I don't think age factors in so much as life experience and common interests. If you have something to talk about, you could become friends with almost anyone. I think that's infinitely more importan.

yes that is very importan.

Thanks for all the replies. Nice to see that there are people who are a little more open-minded. Sorry about the repetitive questions; I was upset and not really thinking. =

worshipperpa - They haven't really provided good arguments. They have said that 31 year olds have no interest in being friends with 19 year olds when I have several friends at uni who are 31 and above! Even a guy who is in his 60s! Then she said she can guarantee he is going to rape me because he is 31. What kind of argument is that? There is no specific age when someone can be a guaranteed sexual predator.

I love adriana - Don't worry, I will be careful just in case. I'm going to let everyone know where I'll be and we've talked about meeting in a public place for a coffee or something.

Mignonne - Me too, I get along really well with all of my mother's friends even though they're all nearing their 40s.

I agree with the hs part; people change A LOT between 12 and 17. I know I did.

I also agree with the common interests and life experience part. Most of the things we have talked about have to do with life experience, but I think you can have the deepest connection with belief (not religion).

Thanks again for the replies. I was starting to think that no-one cared. LOL

I'm really attracted to older men ( George Clooney, Brad Pitt ). I think some of it has to do with the fact that older men are more mature and are more on my level. Most older men have also "been there, done that" as far as partying and are probably more willing to settle down. Currently, I have a crush on one of my superiors at work ( yes, I do have a boyfriend, but I can't help this crush ) who is 25. I'm not yet 20. And even though 5 years isn't that big of a difference, I've never dated anyone who is more than two years older than me ( mostly because older boys were off limits when I was high school ).

Anyway, I think older men have a quality that most younger men don't ... maturity, a bigger salary ( in most cases ), security. I would have no problem marrying or dating someone ten years older than me.

worshipperpa - They haven't really provided good arguments. They have said that 31 year olds have no interest in being friends with 19 year olds when I have several friends at uni who are 31 and above! Even a guy who is in his 60s! Then she said she can guarantee he is going to rape me because he is 31. What kind of argument is that? There is no specific age when someone can be a guaranteed sexual predator.

I'm really attracted to older men ( George Clooney, Brad Pitt ). I think some of it has to do with the fact that older men are more mature and are more on my level. Most older men have also "been there, done that" as far as partying and are probably more willing to settle down. Currently, I have a crush on one of my superiors at work ( yes, I do have a boyfriend, but I can't help this crush ) who is 25. I'm not yet 20. And even though 5 years isn't that big of a difference, I've never dated anyone who is more than two years older than me ( mostly because older boys were off limits when I was high school ).

Anyway, I think older men have a quality that most younger men don't ... maturity, a bigger salary ( in most cases ), security. I would have no problem marrying or dating someone ten years older than me.

5 years is nothin

my dad is 5 years apart from my mother

my parents are the same age.

By the way, this should be moved to the Love & Sex thread.

been moved thank you heaveth!!

Hehe. Just thought it would more appropriate over here. Thanks, Ronin.

yeah i don't think 5 years is a big deal at all.

I think age doesn't say anything about someone, i mean ok older man or woman can have a better job. But it doesn't have anything to do with who they are from the inside, an older person can be even childisher in their thoughts... My sister has a boyfriend that's 16 years older then she is (she 26, he 42) and they are so happy together, first my parents had problems with it, but after a while they noticed he's real good to her, they're together for 8 years now For myself i'm seeing a girl i really like and she likes me, she's 4 years younger (I'm 22) and i think she's real mature in her thoughts

So Sheyda I would say go for it and don't listen to what ur friends say if there's nothing true about it they say. They're probably just jealous

yeah i don't think 5 years is a big deal at all.

It's not really. I mean, when I was in high school .. the age difference between 15 and 20 is huge. I would never let my daughter date someone that much older than her. But, now that I am almost 20, the gap in age differences seems so much smaller. 5 years between 20 and 25 isn't that big of a deal.

i think that in your younger years(teens, early 20's) you should use some discretion about who you date. friends is cool. i have many friends older and younger than me, so thats all cool. i have never tried to or been forced to do something that i would regret or wouldnt like. once you become more mature, i think its ok to forget about the age difference. my dad remarried someone 9 years younger and is the happiest he's ever been, and so is she.

i think that you should avoid the large age gaps when your younger, because you dont want to push someone who is younger than you into things that they are not ready to handle.

i am currently having trouble with this, because i am a senior, and there is this freshman who is gorgeious. we talk, but i dont think im going to do anything else, simply because shes too young. i would have a hard time with that, bc my conscience would be up on me, soooooo yea. but on the other hand, she is really mature and sensible and those are qualities that i like in girls. so i am torn, but will prolly just move on and forget