Age Gap Relationships
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i am currently having trouble with this, because i am a senior, and there is this freshman who is gorgeious. we talk, but i dont think im going to do anything else, simply because shes too young. i would have a hard time with that, bc my conscience would be up on me, soooooo yea. but on the other hand, she is really mature and sensible and those are qualities that i like in girls. so i am torn, but will prolly just move on and forget
Why move on and forget? After all you are just couple of years older, right? I think you should talk with her about this age thing and about how ready she is. Just do not push her too much and give her time. Five years from now your age difference will be insignificant. She might be the right girl for you. If it does not work then you can move on and forget...
well its not just that...peer pressure will kick in...his friends will clown him....i remember in HS my friend was going to go to prom with a 9th grader and we made fun of him...our dean made fun of him too..said john your taking a middle school student to prom 
Yeah, I'm sure that happens but if they're both happy then what does it matter what other people think? To be so influenced by what other people think is really immature and it just shows what a lack of self confidence someone has.
but it was funny cuz our dean was making fun of him too.
yeah, it was lol.
i remember that day....man...i miss high school 
There is cultural differencies. In Finland age gap is not an issue like it seems to be in USA.
americans make a big deal out of everything, but I guess they are just trying to protect everyone...but I don't see what the big deal is all about most of the time.
If an older guy is attracted to a younger woman does it make him a "filthy old man" in your eyes or is it perfectly acceptable? Why? Does your response depend on any other factors (other than age)? e.g. how he acts because of this attraction.
If he's just looking for sex (which, many many of them are 
) I'd say he qualifies as a filthy old man..it really depends on how big the age gap is too. But there are couples who fall in love despite a large difference in age and there's nothing wrong with that...just as long as a young girl isn't being manipulated because she's naive and being taken advantage of.
I'm 22 and I get soooooo many 60+ guys gawking at me and it's absolutely disgusting. What keeps running through my head is, "Dude, you're NOT going to get with a girl my age, don't even bother looking."
1) I believe people with age gaps can be friends, as long as they can stand the others level of maturity.
2) Do you think the stage they are at in life affects their friendship/relationship at all? Howso?
~friendship no, relationship yes. If one person is in college and the other has been out of that for a while, they are going to become impatient with waiting.
3) Do you think there is a certain number of years between two people that will guarantee no friendship at all being formed (don't state the obvious like a 1-year-old and a 60-year-old )? Why do you think this?
~yes...maturity plays a major role in this whole issue.
4) Does age affect whether someone would be interested in being your friend or not? Why?
yes. I could never be friends with someone my fathers age...that would just be wierd.
5) Do you think that people with an age gap between them can have a relationship together and why?
Read # 1 response
6) If an older guy is attracted to a younger woman does it make him a "filthy old man" in your eyes or is it perfectly acceptable? Why? Does your response depend on any other factors (other than age)? e.g. how he acts because of this attraction.
~No not at all if he truly has a keen interest in you and you have an interest in him, cause he obviously took the time to get to know you and wants to know even more.
7) If an older guy falls in love with someone younger than him does it make him a "filthy old man" in your eyes or is it perfectly acceptable? Why? Does your response depend on any other factors?
~same answer as 6
8) Should it be acceptable for people to have an interest in others much older or younger than them? Why?
~It is human nature...you cannot stop it.
9) Do you think there is a limit on how big an age gap can be until it is considered "gross" or "perverted"? If you do, what do you think is appropriate/inappropriate and why?
~eh that is a tuffy. I would say 15 years. just thinking about it and it makes sense to me.
My two cents on this topic copied from my reply to the "Old Man, Young woman" thread at chilaX. Pretty lazy, huh?
In that thread many posts expressed support for the "old men are just perverts if they pursue younger women" opinion.
There are many reasons why it could be unhealthy, but that's true for any relationship.
Age shouldn't be any reason to condemn two mature adults who are in a committed, healthy relationship. When two people share a mutual attraction, love, genuinely respect each other, and have compatible interests/goals/lifestyles/etc., that's all that matters.
Of course there are important practical issues involved. They may not encounter some of the age-related changes of life together. Family planning may be a factor. But other than that, why is it related to age any more/less than race, gender, religion, etc.?
IMO it is just as wrong/close-minded to condemn them as it is to say interfaith or interracial relationships are wrong. But it seems that some people don't agree.
When passing judgement on "dirty old men" because they are the pursurers, don't discount the fact that men and women generally have very different ideas about what constitutes a desirable partner. Many women are attracted to broader things like maturity, security, and access to power. While men, being the shallow dogs that we are, can be influenced by more superficial qualities like physical beauty.
And the fact that I'm in a relationship with a woman who is 20+ years younger than I am doesn't make me a pervert.
It's all that other stuff I like to do that does! 
1) Do you think that people with an age gap between them can be friends and why?
Yes, being friends with an older person is fine. 
2) Do you think the stage they are at in life affects their friendship/relationship at all? How so? e.g. Someone who is 15 and in secondary/high school and someone who is 20, already working and has a career would be more difficult than two people who are both working and are 25 and 30.
Yes of course, there is an endless amount of factors that play a part into any relationship. You just happen to be signaling out one that Americans have placed a taboo on Age isn
Hi. This is Sheyda; I had to register a new account because my password for that account had changed and when I clicked for an e-mail to be sent to me with my password it didn't work and I had waited two or three days...
Anyway, thank you for all the responses. The reason why I was making such a big deal out of age is because of other people's reactions. I post on this forum where you are meant to help each other, but some of the people there are incredibly narrow-minded and they always label the younger partner as an immature idiot who can't think for themselves and the older partner as a filthy paedophile preying on younger people (even if the younger person is in their 20s!). They can't seem to grasp the fact that not all young people are immature and like getting drunk and partying all the time and that older people can be immature and relate to younger people. I guess you are right that Americans have placed a taboo on age because all of the narrow-minded people on this forum screaming "paedophile" were American (not saying all Americans are like that, just that this taboo has influenced these particular people A LOT).
Thank you so much for being polite and open-minded in replying to this, it has made me feel a lot better. =)
Hi. This is Sheyda; I had to register a new account because my password for that account had changed and when I clicked for an e-mail to be sent to me with my password it didn't work and I had waited two or three days...Anyway, thank you for all the responses. The reason why I was making such a big deal out of age is because of other people's reactions. I post on this forum where you are meant to help each other, but some of the people there are incredibly narrow-minded and they always label the younger partner as an immature idiot who can't think for themselves and the older partner as a filthy paedophile preying on younger people (even if the younger person is in their 20s!). They can't seem to grasp the fact that not all young people are immature and like getting drunk and partying all the time and that older people can be immature and relate to younger people. I guess you are right that Americans have placed a taboo on age because all of the narrow-minded people on this forum screaming "paedophile" were American (not saying all Americans are like that, just that this taboo has influenced these particular people A LOT).
Thank you so much for being polite and open-minded in replying to this, it has made me feel a lot better. =)
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u i could fix the other account for you...just give me your email address. 
EDIT...you should be able to login now...use your normal password
u i could fix the other account for you...just give me your email address.EDIT...you should be able to login now...use your normal password
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks Neo! *Hugs*
Heh, mahema:
My cousins friend married a 56 year old man. She was 22 at the time..
He was 10 years older than her father... I could not imagine being in a relationship with a man who is older than my father.. But i guess if they love each other thats the most important thing..
1) Do you think that people with an age gap between them can be friends and why? sure, age is just a number. I have more friends that are way older than me and they are much better than the immature kids at my school.
2) Do you think the stage they are at in life affects their friendship/relationship at all? Howso? e.g. Someone who is 15 and in secondary/high school and someone who is 20, already working and has a career would be more difficult than two people who are both working and are 25 and 30.
If there is a connection there, all the circumstances will not matter.
3) Do you think there is a certain number of years between two people that will guarantee no friendship at all being formed (don't state the obvious like a 1-year-old and a 60-year-old )? Of course not. It's quite interesting b/c you have different experiences.
4) Does age affect whether someone would be interested in being your friend or not? basically the same answer.
5) Do you think that people with an age gap between them can have a relationship together and why? Of course, i'm living proof.
6) If an older guy is attracted to a younger woman does it make him a "filthy old man" in your eyes or is it perfectly acceptable? Why? Does your response depend on any other factors (other than age)? e.g. how he acts because of this attraction.
Of course not. Love is something you can't control.
8) Should it be acceptable for people to have an interest in others much older or younger than them? Why? If you truly love someone, it will not matter about anyone else.
9) Do you think there is a limit on how big an age gap can be until it is considered "gross" or "perverted"? If you do, what do you think is appropriate/inappropriate and why? Nope...age is just a number. Your age lies in your mind.
The guy i'm committed to is 41, and i'm 18. I've waited 4 years to be 18...I was 14 when we met. A lot of people will frown upon it, but it doesn't matter.
41 sounds like a lot...
But hopefully you know what you're doing. Of course you do!