Kate Beckinsale

I hate talking about this because I hate adding to this conversation but I’m doing it because insidious bullying of any kind over time takes a toll.These videos might be 20 years apart -maybe more. Every time I post anything – and by the way, this has been the case since I was about 30 -I am accused of having had unrecognisable surgery /using Botox using fillers /being obsessed with looking younger, and it’s really such a tiresome and subtly vicious way to bully a person.I don’t actually do any of those things -I’ve even gone to the trouble of having a plastic surgeon categorically state that I don’t and haven’t, and still ,every time there’s a chorus of my God, you’re unrecognisable. Oh my God PLASTIC,oh my God, you don’t even look like yourself anymore, it happens constantly and it’s usually women that are doing it. Life happens -obviously I have aged, everybody ages; I’m not too concerned about aging-because I found my father dead at the age of 5 ,I spent most of my teenage years and a good deal of my 20s absolutely crippled with severe anxiety and panic attacks that I was going to die of a heart attack too,and went to emergency rooms often,and was almost, at that time of my life, completely immobilised by that anxiety. The fact that one of the major things I am bullied about is an assumption that I can’t handle the idea of getting older is so deeply ironic when my all consuming terror was that I never thought I’d even see the end of my 20s. As you can see from these two videos ,what is different is that I lived in the UK, and was paler,I used to pluck the shit out of my eyebrows, I loved that brown lipstick that everybody wore. I had a fuller face , as most of us do in our late teens and 20s. Makeup techniques were matte ,not nearly so glossy . I thought contours were something I found difficult in geography lessons. .I’m posting this knowing full well that it will have absolutely no effect. It isn’t going to stop. But I’m also posting it because whatever someone looks like, accusing them constantly of things they haven’t done, or being obsessed with youth when actually, currently I’m obsessed with surviving loss, is bullying. Please stop now.

It’s amazing how broken and yet full a heart can feel at the same time. I love you Jude. I love you Lily.I miss you Roy. Feel so lucky the day before I start a movie that even though I’m not with my girls that I have the best girls in the world -and how cute is my mother’s astonishment at getting Mother’s Day flowers when it isn’t actually Mother’s Day in the UK💖🌸💖 Big love to everyone on Mother’s Day and extra big love for those finding it hard for all the reasons one can feel lost, lonely, guilty, angry, sad, left out, jealous, bereaved or fucked over on Mother’s Day 💖

Oh Italy :your sunny ,enveloping charm except when you try and pat a goat and almost get shot by a farmer

some graphic spray paint...