Guilty or Not Guilty?
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Not guilty
Cleaned up poop that wasn't yours?
Not guilty
Fallen asleep in the cinema?
Not guilty
fallen asleep when driving?? :|
Not guilty
Been in a car accident?
Not guilty
Breaking something expensive?
Not guilty
Lost something down a drain?
Partially guilty 
I dropped my keys down a drain once, but I got them out before they got lost.
Eating something that's out of date?
Not guilty
Stolen from someone?
Not guilty
Cut in line?
Guilty
Sneezed on someone?
Probably 
Stolen money?
Not guilty
Been attracted to a sibling's significant other?
No, my sibling has very, very bad taste. 
Been guilty of ditching your friends at a party?
Not guilty
Lied to the police?
Kind of guilty 
I should have spoke up, but I didn't.
Guilty of purposely tripping somebody?
Guilty
Guilty of stealing a cell-phone?
Not guilty!
Guilty of stealing someone's boyfriend/girlfriend?
Not guilty
Purposely deceived someone?
Guilty. I did it only to get them away from me because I wanted absolutely nothing to do with them. 
Guilty of googling your name to see what pops up? 
Guilty 
Taking candy from a baby?