Did You Win?

Break ups are always hard...

You spend so much of your time, money and emotion on a person and then all of a sudden, it all goes to waste. You feel hurt and angry all at the same time. Eventually you get over it and move on... but sometimes, if you're lucky enough, opportunity presents itself. Revenge is a dish best served cold they say... and they're right. A year, maybe two, down the road, you meet one of your old Exes and damn... call me petty but I'm always happy something went wrong in that relationship. "Close call" I always say to myself in my head as I give myself an imaginary pat on the back.

God. I love seeing how fat some of my exes have gotten since we broke up. Heck, one of them even got married to a big time porker. Super nice guy, they're really happy together, and you know what? I'm happy for them! But I'm even happier for myself! Another one... still reasonably friggin hot... engaged... to a mechanic... she's working as a waitress... and she knows I'm a way better kisser than Hubby... nice guy too though. Think they'll be pretty happy.

Facebook is awesome too... checkin out another ex... gave her a diamond necklace one day, the next week, she says she didn't feel the same way about me... broke up with me... meh... it wasn't a very expensive necklace anyway... check on facebook... greasy assed zitface with the same hair style as Jay Cutler. Damn. I actually feel sorry for her a little bit. I really hope she cleans up.

Sometimes though.... you meet the little sister... and dude... she grew up. Damn. I picked the wrong sister! lol

but really... I guess this isn't about being petty as much as it is about being grateful that things didn't work out the way I've planned. When you're living in the moment you don't always see the big picture or maybe you do but you're just too caught up in your emotions to think straight. In hindsight though, you can always see better. I'm really happy that some of them got to be happy but I'm even happier that my life is where it is right now.

TooBoku wins.

Crap... I got all weird....

What I meant to say is...

I'M SO GLAD SHE'S FAT NOW

mmmm

They're not my ex's... but both, are doing better than me.

Fuck.

I don't view it as winning or losing.

If my ex is happy, I'm happy that she's happy. If she's doing bad, I feel bad for her. I love people. I'm only pleased by the life failures of people I dislike or hate, and I only dislike bad people, and I don't date bad people...

there's my 2c, anyway.

You know, even when the break-up is amicable (and for me it has never been truly amicable) there's always that nagging feeling of inadequacy - that you weren't quite good enough. Whether or not it was you that instigated the break-up or not...

Whilst I might (perhaps guiltily!) enjoy a bit of that schadenfreude in seeing an ex-girlfriend who has not weathered so well - I studiously avoid any such encounters.

My main gripe isn't with her - it is with HIM. Yes, HIM. He who has managed to tick all those boxes that I was incapable of. For, no matter what the circumstances for parting were, no matter how reasonable - there is just that thing in the back of my head that says: "She prefers him - he is better than you"!

FEH! He stands there with his sensible shoes, his clean-cut, pearly-white, charm-offensive smile. He shakes your hand all firm and manly, all Head-Boy, captain of the sports team. He holds her arm, bicep flexed just to tell you: "I'm holding her tightly - with my big strong arm you loser". He flicks his perfect hair back, all clean and GQ and you can see him standing in her parent's kitchen - joking easily with her mother - her all swoony and proud that her daughter hooked such a gentleman. All 'parental-approved' cheekiness, nothing too risqué... Gosh no! He's too damn well mannered for that. Then he'll be invited for a round of golf with her father - and he'll play well, but not too well so's that he'll show the old man up. And the whole bloody family will think his easy friendliness, 'safe' style, healthy handsome looks, and 'nice' job is just SO the best thing that's happened to her...

NOT like that last idiot... <_<

I would never take pleasure in knowing that a person I once loved is miserable.

But then again... if your ex ends up with a fool by her side, I guess you might feel weird about that and think something like: "geez, thank God we didn't get married" or something. Feeling weird is OK, wishing your ex the worst - is not.

Gosh a lot of people are missing the point of this thread...

Yes yes, we know you're all sensitive guys... wonderful guys that can let go of the hurt feelings. Guys with vaginas.

lol. Okay... so most of us get over that. You cry yourself to sleep for a couple days and then it's hammer time. but...

The point isn't wishing ill will on your ex. It's trying to move on and do something with your life. Your ex is used as a benchamark for measuring your success at this because he or she is someone that you potentially could have shared your success, or failure with. That is of course, given that the standards of "conventional wisom" provide that money, looks and power are indicators of that success.

You're being dishonest if you're not somewhat pleased with yourself because you're almost done your PhD while an ex of yours is still working that same job she's had since finishing high school... or you're somewhat resentful because you're a washed up high school football star working at a steel mill because you never made it to the NFL while she got to be an actress and you see her photo on the cover of Cosmo while you're buying a dirty magazine.

So... when some dude sees an ex, and she's gotten quite fat, he's not happy because she's fat. He's happy because he's thinking to himself "thank God I dodged that bullet".

i don't know who won in our case...

he's still stuyding, i am still in school. we're both still single. i think he's still a little into me and i am depressed and still not out.

so i guess we're both big fails lol

but he got the heartache, i still have the feeling of guilt in me for hurting him by breaking up.

so in the end i guess he will win. Unless i start forgiving myself.

i still intend to get some unbelievably gorgeous boyfriend, though. We'll fall in love and both be annoyingly happy together

to be honest i don't mind if he finds someone great. The feelings just weren't there for him so i can't change that. If he finds someone - good for him. Would actually make me feel better i think.

of course Im doing better than him...

Im not really glad about that... is just that he was a jerk with me, and now he is having his worst relationship with a girl that is totally crazy and always saying that she is to jump from a buildin or something....

poor boy !!!!

AND IM A FREE BIRD =)

My ex cheated on me a lot. He is still working in some dead end job and can't keep a girlfriend because...well he is a lying bastard.

So YES I am doing a fuckton better then him and YES it makes me happy.

if that makes me a bad person so be it.

I had sex with two of her best friends because she cheated on me, so I'd call that sweet revenge....

I would not want my exs hurt but I do like the idea "what comes , to me, it is not bad to hear it has happened to them even if they have done it to me....

For me, being wronged has been two for two in the eye for an eye category .. I am not completely happy for this. Well actually, a part of me may say "see how it feels".. but mostly I hope they have learned not to wrong the people they are with. It can really suck giving it all and then being betrayed by a person thought to be trusted.

i don't know who won in our case...

he's still stuyding, i am still in school. we're both still single. i think he's still a little into me and i am depressed and still not out.

so i guess we're both big fails lol

but he got the heartache, i still have the feeling of guilt in me for hurting him by breaking up.

so in the end i guess he will win. Unless i start forgiving myself.

update: i think i win, after all lol

He's put on a little weight and his hair has grown a little longer.

My body on the other hand has gotten fitter and my hairdo shorter

He's apparently still into me.

I'm young.

I'm hot.

I win.

There is someone interested in him - i hope they'll end up together real soon so that i'm 'rid' of him lol

lol.

was that the kind of answer you wanted?

I'll take anything.... but I'm glad to see that you think you won.

Good job!

omg i do this all the time in my head. but in my mind i always win because

1. i'm usually the dumper

2. i usually have a new partner/bf first

3. my new partner is usually more attractive or at least have a few more attractive traits

4. because I like myself too much to admit that any of my exs could ever do better than me.

I had sex with two of her best friends because she cheated on me, so I'd call that sweet revenge....

I've had sex with one guy that is best friends with my ex and was on his basketball team (hence the bestfriendidness)

I've also dealt with another guy who use to be on their team as well.

I stopped talking to this ex a week after he broke up with me because he got mad at me for going on a dinner date with yet another one of his friends who had a crush on me. (he no longer talks to the dinnerdate friend).

I've also refused to talk to this ex in public or front of his friends i.e. ignored him or never looked in his direction if he said hi to me.I also have told a couple of his friends that he sucked in bed.

but the weird thing is that the only thing I did to spit him was the dinner date with his friend that liked me. The rest of the things just happened over the year and happened to have pissed him off. Of course, I didn't mind making him mad, I did get a laugh or two out of it. But all of this happened 2006-2007.

I think we have things in common :evil:

You know, even when the break-up is amicable (and for me it has never been truly amicable) there's always that nagging feeling of inadequacy - that you weren't quite good enough. Whether or not it was you that instigated the break-up or not...

Whilst I might (perhaps guiltily!) enjoy a bit of that schadenfreude in seeing an ex-girlfriend who has not weathered so well - I studiously avoid any such encounters.

My main gripe isn't with her - it is with HIM. Yes, HIM. He who has managed to tick all those boxes that I was incapable of. For, no matter what the circumstances for parting were, no matter how reasonable - there is just that thing in the back of my head that says: "She prefers him - he is better than you"!

FEH! He stands there with his sensible shoes, his clean-cut, pearly-white, charm-offensive smile. He shakes your hand all firm and manly, all Head-Boy, captain of the sports team. He holds her arm, bicep flexed just to tell you: "I'm holding her tightly - with my big strong arm you loser". He flicks his perfect hair back, all clean and GQ and you can see him standing in her parent's kitchen - joking easily with her mother - her all swoony and proud that her daughter hooked such a gentleman. All 'parental-approved' cheekiness, nothing too risqué... Gosh no! He's too damn well mannered for that. Then he'll be invited for a round of golf with her father - and he'll play well, but not too well so's that he'll show the old man up. And the whole bloody family will think his easy friendliness, 'safe' style, healthy handsome looks, and 'nice' job is just SO the best thing that's happened to her...

NOT like that last idiot... <_<

I agree with what u said, i get more angry with the person they're now with or the person that they may end up with in the future but then i go back to hating my ex and back and forth haha, future partners are a**holes