Intersexual Relations

Here we catalog observations regarding behavior differences between men and women.  Also, relations between each other.

-  being an ostracized from a group is the worst thing that can happen to girls

-  being beaten is the worst thing that can happen to boys

Women harp about wanting a "sensitive man" but sensitive to their feelings and needs, but not their men's own feelings.

Gender differences in shame: Female feelings of shame is communal (kicked out a group, not belonging), male shame is more individual (status and masculinity based)

Territory:  Females converge in a group and sit very close to each other when they arrive.   Men are instinctually territorial, and space themselves apart from one another.

Females long for harmony, consensus, and belonging.

The lecturer of a course on male psychology that I'm taking.  He is an MD with 24 yrs of practicing experience and also teaches a female psych course:

"How you feel about your career, life progress, etc. is how a woman feels about her butt.  I'm serious.  The reptilian brain is not logical.  And yet the relation is true.  Just switch the words.  Your butt = my career".

This reminds me of the butt, boob, etc. and Elsa vs. Candice butt battles on BZ!

Another insight:

Men wear physical injuries as badges of honor while women feel it as mutilation.  

Women, Homosexuals, and feminized men (to a lessor extent) tend to attach emotional packets to their surroundings while experiencing while masculine men tend to logically zoom in towards their objective.   Emotions has the effect of distorting memories but creating a detailed/multifaceted and emotion-driven recall.  Good for creativity. Emotional people make good journalists and writers but are not very good at analysis, history, or tasks that require systematization, objective facts, and quick decision.   On the flip side, logical people tend to miss a lot of details that are crucial.  In meetings, it is good to have a mixture of logical and emotional people as their strengths can offset their collective weaknesses.

I have always noticed this but only recently found that it was scientifically observed.

Another lesson:

Male to female

A slight feeling of danger + friendliness/humor = more sexual arousal

Example: Teenagers making dates at amusement parks and haunted houses.  The artificial fear/excite triggers an increase of sexual tension.

Male to Male (homoerotic energy)

A slight feeling of danger + friendliness/humor + display of value = bromance/brotherhood

Example:  Tyrion disarms Shagga (who initially aimed to murder him) initially with humor.  Then he offers value.  They then become allies.  Tyrion does this again with the merchants.

- Female communal instincts:  At the reptilian brain level, it is a life or death thing with regards to belonging and conforming to a group.  The emotional charges are strongest with immature women and can only be dulled with maturity. 

-Men lack the same intensity of these instincts and generally have weaker social networks.  

-Gossip between women is feminizing (provides happy chemicals), and strengths the social network.  It is charged by the reptilian brain.

Narcissistic behavior : 

-when men or women claim that they don't need people

-when men or women claim that they don't need a partner

-spurning other people's love

-selfishness and inability to emphasize with others

-Some masochistic behaviors can be considered a form of narcissism.  

*Narcissism is the reptilian brain, unchecked.  Zombies and Vampires are prevalent throughout world folklore as a symbol of this.  Light symbols illumination, and death of narcissism.  Pitiable and at the same time, terrifying.

Female interest in Twilight type vampires is healing to women, as through this interest their  hurt  from adolescent relationships can be wiped clean.  

When it comes to stress, men and women have different reaction patterns. Men fight and flight, women tend and befriend.

Women treat friends as utility (eg. drawers for different purposes) while men tend to "stratify" their friends on a hierarchy.  (as far as having different amounts of time, energy, and resources poured on them).  With men it's either friend or not a friend.

Love, scientifically, is mutually raising self esteem and sharing a newly merged self-esteem.

The Friendzone- often used by women to feminize themselves, and raise their self-esteem in order to pursue or engage with their chosen one.

According to the Doc:

The answer to the age old question: do opposites attract? or those that are alike?

The answer : It's both.

- Opposites attract in the mammalian brain in terms of emotional attraction and personality fit

-Like attracts like in the form of what you value and what you believe in your higher brain.

"sperm war'd" = Sneaky tactic of women who invite you over and she's with her girlfriend and another guy.  She wants you to compete with the other guy.

Women have a thicker corpus callosum, which makes them better at multi-tasking and 4 times better at reading visual cues.  

From the Doc: Due to western culture/media/entertainment/advertising/porn making female beauty and youth into solid gold (beyond biological attraction)....  Young women in their 20s and 30s are artificially inflated in social value but by middle age they are doubly punished, leading to personal and even psychiatric level problems in many women.

This is reflected in the bump in middle aged (white female) suicide rates.

**Cultural conditioning is weaker than biology.

**Gender neutral is a cultural fad.  

The emotional experience of "Envy" is different between the sexes.  

Men: Cut down in their status or rank

Women: Sense that one is excluded from a group of belonging, attention from males, or feeling of "being normal".

There is no "feminine" or "masculine" code of mental programming (brain stem) in heterosexual men and women, respectively.  But the programming exists for homosexuals.

-Women are designed to "fit in" within a social system.  They have a desperate need to be perceived as "normal" in their peer group.  This insight appears in female buying crazes and explains the power of certain figures, such as Oprah.

-Men would rather be outstanding rather than normal.

- What is called "female intuition" is their nature given ability to notice small changes in the appearance and behavior of others, thus being able to survive and influence the behavior of others better.

Female intuition is much more than that. 

2 hours ago, Lyla said:

Female intuition is much more than that. 

what were you thinking about lyla?

Some more thoughts- off the top of my head.  I have accumulated some of the textbooks about science but will not have the time to screen through it until next year.  Learning the intricate details of this stuff for the first time can be pretty traumatic -  I have many flashes of past experiences and baffling situations answered now. :

-In relationship, it is dangerous for the man to assume free altruism from the woman- it is always an emotional trade.  Whatever altruism comes his way should be accepted as it is.  If it becomes an expectation, the woman will start losing her affections towards the man.  It is also not good to try to change the man into a preferred form- it will cause a lot of problems.  One of my exes tried to "change" me into what she "preferred" and failed miserably.  This is a common conceit among women and seems to be popularized in women's media.  I think it is notable that the trope of "men changing women" is rarely heard of- for reasons that make sense.

-Women have a tendency to constantly want to "label" things. (eg. as safe, as sex worthy, etc.) They possess this instinct that leads them to constantly judging a person.  He's hot.  He's cool.  He's bad.  It matter not what the person did in the past or is expected to do, given all history..that matters- it is "of this very moment" that is "oh so critical".  This is a cloudy thought of mine- maybe a reader can improve on what I'm saying.

-Women are noticeably less confrontational than men in groups.  They will often use undercover communication methods or concealment.  There is a bias towards promoting social harmony.

-the science behind man and women's psychology is very ruthless- the brain stem of men and women are most heavily enslaved to survival and reproduction.  Men and women's enslavement is of different facets.  Women are more enslaved, both mentally and physically- than men due to being the oven carriers.  I personally believe that the wider female emotional complex is largely in service of S &R.  

-What is very hopeful, and what Dawkins implied in the "Selfish Gene" and what my instructor stated is that human beings, unlike other species, can "earn" their humanity and free themselves in degrees from biological slavery.  This is can be called "maturity"- in this context it is used to describe a person who exerts more and more control over their animal impulses, and then is finally able to exert them in a conscious way.  A baby that falls out of a womb is nothing more than an animal.  Another insight: "Maturity" is earned through experience, self development and education- not just from the simple passing of time.  Adults can freeze in maturity at age 25 for the rest of their lives and never progress or a 30 year old can have the maturity of an average 40 year old.  The psychologist also discussed how criminals are largely degenerate people with only an adolescent level of maturity (eg. age 12) but in an adult body.  I agree, and it has matched my eyewitness accounts of them.

-During a relationship, it is well known that women drop their social mask and become a different version of themselves.  The nearly infinite attempts of behavior control/boundary declarations and fights then begin.  This generally occurs after "limerance".   Since this is rooted in the female's emotions/brain stem, I do not see it as a fully conscious process.  When women are emotional, they often backwards rationalize.  I also believe that this is also a biology-driven behavior.

-I believe that this intimate version is nature's way of binding the man to the woman- and it's largely the woman that does the binding.  It should be noted that woman are naturally far more self centered in men- the science implies that its due to the 200-300 eggs in her body vs. the countless millions of sperm.  The woman, as a reproductive machine, evolved to be far more protective of her body (the safety element of female intuition).  The male is a much more disposable member of the species, as he can spread his seed and then get lost or get killed.  The women need only bind herself to someone else or raise the children on her own.  

-It is very likely that lust for women is the key for making the majority of men their most socially constructive selves- without them, there would be little motivation to do many, if not most things in a man's life.  Man's actions would be entirely self-serving and not giving. In a powerful way, women make men better men.

-  Histories about the rise of civilization rarely emphasize how the status of women (often influenced by religion or other heavy forces- such as  the rise of agriculture and industrialization or birth control in the 1960s) can be a factor in grounding men and taking them away from their naturally creative, adventure, freedom seeking, selfish, and warlike impulses.   By grounding men and weighing them down, they stabilize society and can be considered the civilizing force.  In a way, ancient and medieval wars were instigated by free men (the Elite large scale property owners, aristocrats, etc.) .   Certain organized religions have a grounding effect as well- such as Christianity. 

-There are certain "women professions" such as  "Human resources".  This is definitely related to "female intuition" and differences in the way women perceive time, social intuition, and process their memories.     

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geoffrey_Miller_(psychologist)

Geoffrey Miller is one of the foremost public intellectuals/popularizers of EB/ES.

In his book, the Mating Mind he notes that Humor is very much a selection device.  It denoted smarts in pre-historic humans.  Humor actually pre-dates language and even the human species- it's found in the apes and other animals as well.   Pre-historic man relied on body language to express humor.

I found this rather insightful.  My thoughts:

- Women laugh at comedy just as men do,  but I have noticed that women tend to be more attracted to the type of humor that resembles juvenile banter.  It's not the intellectual punch lines but the back and forth.  They often laugh at things that aren't funny to men.    The guys at the bar and at parties that are the most funny to women know that it's this particular banter that works.  (ex. saying mean things but with the subtext of liking and warmth).

-I sense that this is linked to the prehistoric origins of women.  In the modern world, this type of humor (objectively) doesn't denote nearly as much intelligence or mating worth at all.

-I've had mixed success with this technique because it's really not a strong part of my personality.  It just doesn't flow with what I'm about.

What do you guys think?

On 10/4/2017 at 5:25 PM, Cult Icon said:

What do you guys think?

humor is pretty common "expectation" from females, "a guy who can make me laugh". females are "consumers" of humor in this sense, and expect males to "produce" it. ( see the number of male vs. female humorists / comedians)

if a guy make a girl laugh, it means the girl feels well / happy being with that guy.

it's a filtering factor too - if the guy's kind of humor is to their taste, that means the guy is on the same wavelength as them, exhibits similar personality / mental style, it's a match.