Make a Joke !!!!

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Grossly Incandescent's avatar
Grossly Incandescent
Posts: 42604
#41

At one of his rallies someone yelled, "What about the powerful interests that control you???"

 

He shot back, "Leave my wife and children out of this!!!"

I
I love doing exercise and going to the gym :)
Posts: 3538
#42

I hope somebody enjoying it today

 

 

Grossly Incandescent's avatar
Grossly Incandescent
Posts: 42604
#43

robin williams delivering some classic dirty jokes

 

 

The rest is confetti's avatar
The rest is confetti
Posts: 26671
#44

There's love without sex and there's sex without love...

 

Spoiler
Spoiler

Then there's You, without either.

Happy Valentines! 

 

The rest is confetti's avatar
The rest is confetti
Posts: 26671
#45

Everyone Knows Dave

 

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"

"No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and Tom Cruise shouts,

"Dave! What's happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!"

Although impressed, Dave's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says.

"President Obama," his boss quickly retorts.

"Yup," Dave says, "Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington," and off they go.

At the White House, Obama spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a beer first and catch up."

Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.

"Pope Francis," his boss replies.

"Sure!" says Dave. "I've known the Pope for years." So off they fly to Rome.

Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican's St. Peter's Square when Dave says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican.

Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Making his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, "What happened?"

His boss looks up and says, "It was the final straw... you and the Pope came out on to the balcony and the man next to me said, 'Who the fuck is that on the balcony with Dave?'

Grossly Incandescent's avatar
Grossly Incandescent
Posts: 42604
#46

Do you think Tom Cruise worries at night that people think that he is a gay Scientologist???

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