What women really want

What is an asshole though? Let's define it...

And why exactly would you not know the definition for this?

Well I know how I would define an asshole, but girls and their way of behaving aren't in that definition.

i don't get why women will fall for assholes, even though people around them warn them that they are assholes.

Three simple words ..

Love is Blind..

Well actually there are a lot of things for this.. to change a man or low self esteem in not seeing that they can attract some one better.. loneliness and the need for companionship can also have people make some of these choices as well .. but most of all love (or lust) is blind..

That doesn't make any sense based on your very definition of an asshole. Let's see here: "Arsehole someone who is selfish, self centered, egotistical and demands respect when none is given.. for starters."

Companionship - Someone who is selfish and self centred and gives you no respect isn't going to be a very good companion at all, and certainly not on a romantic level.

Respect - If he's not giving you any respect in the first place why would you want that person around you? Even if you're lonely; I don't know on exactly what level you mean lonely, but you have friends. Girls are more often than not incredibly close, obviously that doesn't mean they can't still be lonely, but it's just hard to believe you could become so lonely that you'd shut your friends out and then want to be with someone who disrespects you, only really cares about himself, and is egotistical.

Love is blind for some people, but it also depends very much on the sort of person you are. People always ask questions like why do guys always spend loads of money on their wives and then they leave them a few years down the line. I think a weak character has the sort of mentality to be like: I am madly in love with this person, so I'm going to spend a fortune on them. Love has nothing to do with money, and you shouldn't have to or feel you have to spend a fortune on someone just to keep them happy. You can be in love but also not lose your head over it, and those sorts of people are well grounded and probably have a stronger character.

What is an asshole though? Let's define it...

And why exactly would you not know the definition for this?

Well I know how I would define an asshole, but girls and their way of behaving aren't in that definition.

yes a male would be an asshole and a female would be a bitch... so your point here?

Or is it the definition a girl would have of an asshole?

I thought you may be wondering why girls may find you to be a asshole? hehehehe

That doesn't make any sense based on your very definition of an asshole. Let's see here: "Arsehole someone who is selfish, self centered, egotistical and demands respect when none is given.. for starters."

Companionship - Someone who is selfish and self centred and gives you no respect isn't going to be a very good companion at all, and certainly not on a romantic level.

Even jerks accept companionship from others... selfish ans self centered usually only means that they are completely in the companiionship partner part fully in it for themselves. My point is that someone with little self esteem would not see a problem with staying with someone like this if they do not see themself worthy of better.. or they are blinded by the emotions they may have for this person.

Respect - If he's not giving you any respect in the first place why would you want that person around you? Even if you're lonely; I don't know on exactly what level you mean lonely, but you have friends. Girls are more often than not incredibly close, obviously that doesn't mean they can't still be lonely, but it's just hard to believe you could become so lonely that you'd shut your friends out and then want to be with someone who disrespects you, only really cares about himself, and is egotistical.

Low self esteem is generally the case for this.. as said above.. so to me and maybe others it may seem logical that someone would not want someone like this.. but there are a lot of factors that have women put up with men like this... one of course is also the challenge that maybe presented to change him.. class for a lot of girls.

Love is blind for some people, but it also depends very much on the sort of person you are. People always ask questions like why do guys always spend loads of money on their wives and then they leave them a few years down the line. I think a weak character has the sort of mentality to be like: I am madly in love with this person, so I'm going to spend a fortune on them. Love has nothing to do with money, and you shouldn't have to or feel you have to spend a fortune on someone just to keep them happy. You can be in love but also not lose your head over it, and those sorts of people are well grounded and probably have a stronger character.

Love being blind has very little to do with money... if fact the reason someone can be used for money may have more to do with how some people love.. some people give to others material while others are emotional.. someone can also be used as what I think SS had said "as an emotional ATM." All can be the same result if someone is blinded by the emotions they have for someone... it is surprising what people will endure when these emotions hit them and anyone can be hit... just the question... who are they hit by? Since we are talking about being with an asshole... I know too many "ass holes" who are not alone and with people so in love and willing to endure what they are getting simply because they have some emotions and characteristics that they prefer in them.. I even know someone with a really horrible woman simply for her beauty.

What is an asshole though? Let's define it...

And why exactly would you not know the definition for this?

Well I know how I would define an asshole, but girls and their way of behaving aren't in that definition.

yes a male would be an asshole and a female would be a bitch... so your point here?

Or is it the definition a girl would have of an asshole?

I thought you may be wondering why girls may find you to be a asshole? hehehehe

Why would you assume I am trying to make a point? I was answering your question by saying I do know the definition for it, or rather, I know what my definition would be, but it wouldn't include a girl. The only reason I asked you guys to define it is because people have different ideas or views on what constitutes for a person being an asshole.

Oh golly, I wish I was as funny as you.

But in all seriousness, if you'd actually paid attention you would realize I wasn't in fact wondering anything at all, but simply replying to your question. lol

That doesn't make any sense based on your very definition of an asshole. Let's see here: "Arsehole someone who is selfish, self centered, egotistical and demands respect when none is given.. for starters."

Companionship - Someone who is selfish and self centred and gives you no respect isn't going to be a very good companion at all, and certainly not on a romantic level.

Even jerks accept companionship from others... selfish ans self centered usually only means that they are completely in the companiionship partner part fully in it for themselves. My point is that someone with little self esteem would not see a problem with staying with someone like this if they do not see themself worthy of better.. or they are blinded by the emotions they may have for this person.

Respect - If he's not giving you any respect in the first place why would you want that person around you? Even if you're lonely; I don't know on exactly what level you mean lonely, but you have friends. Girls are more often than not incredibly close, obviously that doesn't mean they can't still be lonely, but it's just hard to believe you could become so lonely that you'd shut your friends out and then want to be with someone who disrespects you, only really cares about himself, and is egotistical.

Low self esteem is generally the case for this.. as said above.. so to me and maybe others it may seem logical that someone would not want someone like this.. but there are a lot of factors that have women put up with men like this... one of course is also the challenge that maybe presented to change him.. class for a lot of girls.

No, self centred would be someone who selfishly concentrates on their own needs and affairs, showing little or no interest in those of others.

I think you're just seeing it from a romantic/relationship point of view. I get that some people are blinded by emotions, blah, blah, blah. Bottom line - no one likes to be disrespected, and having someone around you who only thinks of themselves and isn't really bothered about anyone else isn't very nice. But on a person to person level, low self esteem doesn't mean you just lose all conciousness of how people should treat you - again, not on a romantic level but on a human level.

Love is blind for some people, but it also depends very much on the sort of person you are. People always ask questions like why do guys always spend loads of money on their wives and then they leave them a few years down the line. I think a weak character has the sort of mentality to be like: I am madly in love with this person, so I'm going to spend a fortune on them. Love has nothing to do with money, and you shouldn't have to or feel you have to spend a fortune on someone just to keep them happy. You can be in love but also not lose your head over it, and those sorts of people are well grounded and probably have a stronger character.

Love being blind has very little to do with money... if fact the reason someone can be used for money may have more to do with how some people love.. some people give to others material while others are emotional.. someone can also be used as what I think SS had said "as an emotional ATM." All can be the same result if someone is blinded by the emotions they have for someone... it is surprising what people will endure when these emotions hit them and anyone can be hit... just the question... who are they hit by? Since we are talking about being with an asshole... I know too many "ass holes" who are not alone and with people so in love and willing to endure what they are getting simply because they have some emotions and characteristics that they prefer in them.. I even know someone with a really horrible woman simply for her beauty.

Maybe that person doesn't think the woman is that horrible, but is never the less still with her just because she's beautiful.

And to the rest of the quote: this comes down to what I was saying about it depending on the sort of person you are. Different types of characters, or personality's, rather; strong and weak. Some people are very fragile emotionally, and they easily become attached to people. People with a stronger character do too, but they don't lose control. I guess what I am trying to say is that not everyone decision makes based on their emotions.

rockTheSky: it seems that you think what women do has to make sense. Once you realize women never make sense, you can let it go and stop doing this

rockTheSky: it seems that you think what women do has to make sense. Once you realize women never make sense, you can let it go and stop doing this

... low self esteem or not, feelings for someone or not, nobody enjoys or likes to be disrespected and mistreated, especially not by someone who only cares about himself...

lol, ya

^^I am going to say here that it is not just women who are irrational and make choices based on emotion.. it may not seem a norm to some men but it happens more often than not in men.. has anyone here ever heard of the phrase about a man who is thinking with the wrong head? This tends to happen more often for men which can put a man easily with the wrong woman simple because she can look or do something just right in a way that entices a man. Men are just as vulnerable as woman when it comes ot putting up with mean people.

As for people into S & M .. LOL .. yeah .. the people we have been talking about would be perfect for them.. I wonder if that changes how someone views themself though? Have you met anyone into this?

But, I have to say, it was a little bit unbelievable that he was able to keep smiling after all that rejection. Everything else was spot-on.

Wow, don't know how I didn't see your reply earlier...

^^I am going to say here that it is not just women who are irrational and make choices based on emotion.. it may not seem a norm to some men but it happens more often than not in men..

Wow, don't know how I didn't see your reply earlier...

^^I am going to say here that it is not just women who are irrational and make choices based on emotion.. it may not seem a norm to some men but it happens more often than not in men..

Oh sure, it's not just women who do it, but they're far more prone to do it than men are.

has anyone here ever heard of the phrase about a man who is thinking with the wrong head? This tends to happen more often for men which can put a man easily with the wrong woman simple because she can look or do something just right in a way that entices a man. Men are just as vulnerable as woman when it comes ot putting up with mean people.

Mmmm, not really. You hardly ever hear a guy talking about how he dated a woman who he thought was a bitch that was selfish, self centered, egotistical and demanded respect when none is given. Put it this way; men usually don't have the same complaints about woman and their shortcomings as women do about men.

Sure most women can look or do something just right in a way that entices a man, regardless of her personality, because I am sure I'm not wrong in suggesting that sex isn't far down on the agenda. Men might put up with a woman who has a sour personality just for sex or her body, but that's far less of a weakness or vulnerability than a women putting up with a man cheating on her, beating her, or only caring about himself and not giving the woman any respect.

I do not accept your statement of "men are just as vulnerable as woman when it comes to putting up with mean people". It's far more rare to hear about women who beat/hit their husbands than it is to hear about men beating their wives. Now perhaps I'm taking this a little further than someone who is just self centred, and disrespectful, but it's the same principle of staying with someone even though they're mean or do horrible and unforgivable things.

There are so many morning and mid day TV shows now that deal with troubled couples where men cheat on their wives, or who beat their wives ect, and each time the woman is still with the husband because she "loves him". I'm not trying to say men aren't week or cannot be vulnerable, they can, but they're definitely not just as vulnerable.

I have a few things to say..

1. have you known men that break up with women? I have heard them think she "was a bitch that was selfish, self centered, egotistical and demanded respect when none is given." And I have heard married men constantly compain about their wives.. also.. I know many men who are "men's men" when around men but far different around women wich can be a vulnerability if it is the wrong woman.

2. the only thing I say about beauty and sex.. the blood seems to move from one head to the other which can give control to the woman.. hehehe.. this is one of the reasons women end having to have to make a decision to out up with a cheating man or kick him to the curb. And as for putting up with a women that cheats or does any such things.. you may not say you are vulnerable to put up with it now.. but if just "the right" girl comes along.. you may put up with a lot. After all the blood flow is necassary to think... hehehe which BTW makes a lot of women mor ein control than you think.

About number 1: Men complain about their wives because women change after they get married. They let themselves go. They stop wanting to have sex. They nag all the time about chores. When a woman gets a man to commit, it's like she stops trying. Her work is done. For men, the work is just starting. After all, men are only as good as the chores they do around the house. Women are as good as the chores they get their men to do for them. And they brag about it to their friends. "Look what my husband did for me!" If you don't do a good enough job jumping through hoops for her - well, go sleep on the couch you ape. And don't even think about coming home with the wrong brand of spaghetti sauce again, mister.

Women marry men hoping he will change. Men marry women hoping she will stay the same. It rarely works out that way.

Women marry men hoping he will change. Men marry women hoping she will stay the same. It rarely works out that way.

haha :trout:

About number 1: Men complain about their wives because women change after they get married. They let themselves go. They stop wanting to have sex. They nag all the time about chores. When a woman gets a man to commit, it's like she stops trying. Her work is done. For men, the work is just starting. After all, men are only as good as the chores they do around the house. Women are as good as the chores they get their men to do for them. And they brag about it to their friends. "Look what my husband did for me!" If you don't do a good enough job jumping through hoops for her - well, go sleep on the couch you ape. And don't even think about coming home with the wrong brand of spaghetti sauce again, mister.

Women marry men hoping he will change. Men marry women hoping she will stay the same. It rarely works out that way.

I hope that if I do marry that doesn't happen to me. Sucks for the guys that it does happen to. Especially if the husband is a really good person.

1. I have heard them think she "was a bitch that was selfish, self centered, egotistical and demanded respect when none is given." And I have heard married men constantly compain about their wives

Oh sure, it happens, I didn't say it doesn't, but it's just not a common complaint men have. That egotistical, self centred, no respect thing was your definition of an asshole. You hear women complaining about men being assholes all the time. I'm just saying that on the whole, men have different complaints about women.

.. also.. I know many men who are "men's men" when around men but far different around women wich can be a vulnerability if it is the wrong woman.

Er, what? So you're saying men are different around women than they are men? Yeah... and so they should be. That's a weakness? lol

2. the only thing I say about beauty and sex.. the blood seems to move from one head to the other which can give control to the woman.. hehehe.. this is one of the reasons women end having to have to make a decision to out up with a cheating man or kick him to the curb. And as for putting up with a women that cheats or does any such things.. you may not say you are vulnerable to put up with it now.. but if just "the right" girl comes along.. you may put up with a lot. After all the blood flow is necassary to think... hehehe which BTW makes a lot of women mor ein control than you think.

I don't get why you're even saying that lol. If a man cheats on a woman it's the woman who has the decision to leave him or stay with him. Duh. Just like if the woman cheats on the man it's the man who has the decision to either leave her or stay with her. I just don't get why you were telling me that, lol it's kinda obvious.

Yeah, don't get why you're still trying to come up with situations where woman may have more control.

What I am talking about is how woman are more vulnerable than men are. Now, I am not saying men cannot be vulnerable too, or that all women are as equally vulnerable. But the bottom line is that men generally don't put up with cheating women and crap, in the same way that women do. He's probably not going to hang around whilst she fiddles about and decides weather or not she still wants him. Men just don't have time for that, women do, as you said... they expect men to change so they put up with his disrespect, big ego, and selfishness.

I wanna point out, that as a girl...I find this really, REALLY funny. Mildly offensive, but hilarious.

And guys...it's not just women who stop trying after marriage.

What about all the hubby's that stop buying flowers, doing sweet, random things like driving and holding her hand, or kissing her for no reason at all - or even just saying I love you at a random period in the day {not before you leave for work or after sex}. I mean...I'm of the opinion that for a marriage to work, no matter what, BOTH parties need to keep trying. =)

Oh, and off-hand, when I get married, I plan on asking to keep seperate bank accounts, AND a familial one. =) You each put the same portion of money in the familial one, for family and household expenses, and keep a little on the side for yourselves. That way, family money doesn't go for hubby's big-screen or wifey's perfume/shoe obsession, or whatever else it is they want to spend money on.

Oh, and off-hand...when my boyfriend DOES try and spend money on me, I ask him not to. I can buy my own clothing, etc. -.-

1. I wanna point out, that as a girl...I find this really, REALLY funny. Mildly offensive, but hilarious.

And guys...it's not just women who stop trying after marriage.

What about all the hubby's that stop buying flowers, doing sweet, random things like driving and holding her hand, or kissing her for no reason at all - or even just saying I love you at a random period in the day {not before you leave for work or after sex}. I mean...I'm of the opinion that for a marriage to work, no matter what, BOTH parties need to keep trying. =)

2. Oh, and off-hand, when I get married, I plan on asking to keep seperate bank accounts, AND a familial one. =) You each put the same portion of money in the familial one, for family and household expenses, and keep a little on the side for yourselves. That way, family money doesn't go for hubby's big-screen or wifey's perfume/shoe obsession, or whatever else it is they want to spend money on.

3. Oh, and off-hand...when my boyfriend DOES try and spend money on me, I ask him not to. I can buy my own clothing, etc. -.-

I want a puppy!