Football

And still we find a way...

Why always Kevin Nolan?

I don't think there's any set of circumstances, hypothetical or otherwise, where Southampton 4-1 Aston Villa is an acceptable scoreline in a competitive football match. Sorry, we may be a team in transition and good luck to Nigel and his saintly boys (that should be playing in red and white stripes but aren't) but I mean, for goodness sake, if you're going to concede four goals in one half it better have been to a great team. Hopefully after our obligatory 4-0 mauling by Man City in the League Cup we can restore some semblance of dignity by picking up a win against the rancid stench they call West Brom. Surely we will.

Hopefully after our obligatory 4-0 mauling by Man City in the League Cup...

CHECKMATE

Couldn't have been dreading this game more, stunned by the outcome. Faith in mankind temporarily restored.

^And an own goal by Gareth Barry!

^And an own goal by Gareth Barry!

Honestly, even though City scored right afterwards, I still had a smile on my face a mile wide. And it was a proper own goal to boot, one straight out of the Richard Dunne School for Calamitous Square Bodied Lardos.

Richard Dunne School for Calamitous Square Bodied Lardos.

Richard Dunne School for Calamitous Square Bodied Lardos.

And the award for basketball goal of the month goes to - Demba Ba! Better luck next time Marouane Fellaini and Peter Crouch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHGk07tmw_4

Miccoliiiii. I really enjoy watching Campionato This season it looks like Juve and Napoli will fight for it Head To Head.

Devastated to only draw tonight, we completely outclassed City in every conceivable way (including, as ever, in support). Mario (G.) was outstanding, he will conquer the world one day, of that there is no doubt. Lewandowski was always due a disappointing performance, the more Man Utd references made in the build up and the more glaring shots of Sir Alex Taggart in the stands, the more certain I was that he'd have a 'mare (in fairness, most of his actual game play was at his usual incredibly high standard). His miss in the second half was simply inexplicable but I know Hannover will incur his wrath on Sunday because that's the kind of boy he is. I thought the penalty was unfair but I would say that, I guess. Real at home is beyond a big deal but I believe its winnable. And later on in “matchday 6” we'll beat City , sip champagne and forget the vapid silence of the Etihad, home of the “passionate” Poznan peddling prat brigade in sky blue.

If not for some terrific 'keeping by Joe Hart and some poor finishing (particularly from the otherwise superb Lewandowski) then Dortmund would have taken and undoubtedly deserved at least a 5-0 victory. Balotelli's borderline-perverse enjoyment of high-pressure situations always makes for compulsive viewing, but it was a true logic-buster to penalise such an obviously accidental handball. Had the penalty not been given to a Premier League club at the expense of Johnny Foreigner, the referee would have been absolutely panned for that one. You only have to look at how far the ball travels before hitting the defender's arm.

So anyway, I think it's same to assume that Hart has already used up his weekly allocation of good saves. By all rights, he should be terrible on Saturday. All we have to worry about is getting near the goal.

What's with all the fuss about Ashley Cole? I mean, it's not like the poor guy shot anyone or anything. Oh wait.

Watching us try to defend against and compete with Man City yesterday reminded me of when I play FIFA '12 (alas, I haven't got '13 yet) against someone who actually knows what they're doing. If Martin could have thrown down his controller in disgust and sent an abusive message to Mancini, he probably would have.

^ Hall Of Shame winner

Another despicable dive by Bale that the footballing fraternity shall cover up with their usual house of cards. Pretend he's from South America, guys, then maybe you'll "get it".

Another despicable dive by Bale that the footballing fraternity shall cover up with their usual house of cards. Pretend he's from South America, guys, then maybe you'll "get it".

As we all know, good honest British lads only dive when they're forced to by a mind-controlling device, which was brought to these shores by a bunch of pesky foreigners from a place called abroad. I only hope retrospective action is taken against Luis Suarez for inventing it.

Diving is part of the game

I am kidding