Football

I hear Steven Gerrard's birthday falls on the same day as the FA Cup final this year. What a cracking send off it would be if someone could get him a ticket to see it.

Also, the single greatest piece of commentary ever was delivered during last night's coverage of Everton and West Ham, with Michael Owen referring to a player's face as "the facial part of the head".

Another extraordinarily poor showing at home, even by our own currently lousy standards. Our most effective player in the first half was the plastic bag swirling aimlessly about the middle of the pitch, although Gomez could do a lot worse than to study footage of it and incorporate its positional sense into his own game.

I can't see us getting anything at Spurs next week, which makes Burnley at home all the more massive.

Was the appearance of Plastico Baggio an homage to former Mackems great Beachy Ball's heroics against the same side a few years back? 

Presumably the sight of Heaps O'Excrement in the Villa starting XI today was an homage to Paul Lambert's love of Shetland Ponies.  <_<

So I actually live in a world where an article entitled "Joey Barton - how Sanchez has won me over" can exist sans irony. Next week, "Titus Bramble - okay, Bobby Moore could play a bit"?! 

Again, Ronaldo is the World best player  (though to be honest he didn't amaze me this year as he did last year).
Loaf is the World best Coach. Well deserved.
 

Congratulations to Ronaldo and to Nadine Kessler for scooping this year's Ballon d'Or prizes, although I wonder if it can still be considered a good week when being voted the world's best footballer is bookended by splitting from Irina Shayk and being outperformed by El Nino at the Bernabeu.

Swapping Altidore for Defoe. Even if we only get a year out of him, that's nifty business. Might actually start scoring a few now, although there's the small matter of keeping them out at the other end to think about as well.

Sigh. You bring in a proven finisher like Defoe and suddenly, like magic, all your chances start falling to crapkickers like Fletcher and Graham instead.

Defoe started the game but was goalless when he was substituted after 75 minutes, ending his record of scoring on his first appearance for every club he has played for.

Jon Stead played a blinder against Chelsea today. A decade too late but you can't have everything, can you?

Arsene Wenger is eventually going to have "I almost signed him" engraved onto his tombstone at this rate. 

Jon Stead played a blinder against Chelsea today. A decade too late but you can't have everything, can you?

I'd have taken him at Villa before yesterday, now I'd take the team being built around him. 

I'd have taken him at Villa before yesterday, now I'd take the team being built around him.

My shock and awe continues, as apparently he's somehow still only 31.

I was in attendance when Stead scored one of his two goals (the other was a consolation in a 3-1 defeat at Roots Hall) for Sunderland, in a game which rather fittingly took place on April Fools' Day. Also witnessed Jozy Altidore scoring against Chelsea last year. All I need now is for Danny Graham to get one and I can retire!

Remember when Wilfried Bony moved to Man City? Or when Swansea landed Kyle Naughton? Those really are the biggest stories of the transfer window so far.
 
Anyone see the Steven Defour thing during Liege/Anderlecht at the weekend? Absolute madness.

Remember when Wilfried Bony moved to Man City? Or when Swansea landed Kyle Naughton? Those really are the biggest stories of the transfer window so far.

Erm, Carles Gil would like a word! A goal of the season contender on home debut!

What a boring transfer window. I hope the summer window will be better than this.

Two wins in a row? I want my Sunderland back!

BVB dead last in the Bundesliga, who would have guessed they'd be 18th place out of 18 teams? I must say their fans have managed to hold it together for quite sometime but it's becoming genuinely unfortunate that they're at a constant losing streak. Something isn't right, they've got a pretty good coach, some very good players but it's not coming together. 

James Rodriguez is out for two months thanks to a broken foot, Ramos won't play and neither will Marcelo in the Derby, plus Pepe and Modric are still injured. Those on the bench can finally get a chance to go on the field at least?  

Anyone see the Steven Defour thing during Liege/Anderlecht at the weekend? Absolute madness.

The irony is that it was one of the calmer/less incident-filled Standard-Anderlechts, outside of the crazy banner.

BVB dead last in the Bundesliga, who would have guessed they'd be 18th place out of 18 teams? I must say their fans have managed to hold it together for quite sometime but it's becoming genuinely unfortunate that they're at a constant losing streak. Something isn't right, they've got a pretty good coach, some very good players but it's not coming together. 

The Augsburg performance was absolute sewage, it made my blood boil to levels not seen since rediscovering my Sasa Curcic Villa away shirt in the back of a cupboard. You can't help feel bad for (Less Than) Ciro Immobile because he least gives off the impression that he gives a damn but his forlorn expression when something goes wrong (meaning approximately fifty times a chuffin' game) feels like it's destined to be the abiding image of the season. His toe curling, inadvertent cushioned back pass when mere yards from goal in stoppage time nearly brought up my dinner. Then again, at least Augsburg are genuinely a good team, a loss against nothingmen Freiburg at the weekend would feel truly apocalyptic.