Crap Superheroes

IS IT A BIRD? IS IT A PLANE?

NAH! IT'S JUST THIS FOOL...

WOO-HOO - If you have kids, they're screwed...

What are you - 9?

"Yeah, it's all laughs now. But as soon as your back is turned I'm going to shit on the carpet..."

This stuff is like cat-nip for fan-boys...

Why don't you just use your heat-vision? Idiot.

"Holy lack-of-commitment Batman..."

"Sure... I used to mix it up with the Sandman, Mysterio, Doc Ock... All them guys. I was a real player on the scene... Of course, that was a while back now... You know? Before the water retention, and the bad knees... Still got it though, baby... Still got it."

I don't even know where to begin with this bunch of fools... Who's the worst offender?

The 'too-cool-for-school' Wolverine wannabe? Starfish girl? What the hell is that about? These hangers-on with bits of material tied around them suggesting - well - something? Effort, please! The guy crouching with the headband and shades? Sorry mate, this is the 'half-arsed superhero' party - the '80's idiot' party is across the road. Have to love the man in blue paint though: "I'm going as Nightcrawler and I'll show 'em all!"

No, it has to be the girl on the end in the blue wig. WHO IS SHE??? WHAT DOES IT MEAN???

So, you found some friends... Congratulations - you ALL look stupid

Somewhere, on 'Planet Of The Dogs', he's got you dressed up in spandex and is swinging you about in the air on your leash.

Nah, don't worry about saving the world or nothing. You just have a rest.

"My Mum says I'm very special."

Their apartment smells of stale Doritos and cat's piss.

What the hell is this - Captain America and his mighty frisbee???

My 'Virgin-sense' is tingling...

Hey, CAPTAIN COMMUNISM - I'll embrace your 'new order' as soon as you move out of your parent's basement.