The Totally Spurious Victoria's Secret Thread Pinned

Yes, what the Greeks "invented" has finally been given the nod of approval - somewhat surprisingly - by the VS 'kid sister' range PINK...

For months now PINK has been sending subliminal messages to all the partners of it's clientele that (as the old adage doesn't go) it's no longer the 'pink' - it's the 'stink' where it's at!

First off, all the slogans made it clear that the cha-cha was somewhat unreliable - giving us menfolk, and otherwise-interested types, a bit of a runaround:

Until the tuppence became outright hostile:

Meanwhile, around the corner, the old bronze-eye was winking at us suggestively:

Encouraging us to partake:

Until it's message became unavoidable:

And if that wasn't suggestive enough - VS gave us it's "brace-position":

So, come on - give the crack a crack, Ed Razek says so...

I did notice a recurring theme

I did notice a recurring theme

it might be that Pink is trying to gain some male fans :brows:

it might be that Pink is trying to gain some male fans

Does the I'm on vacation come in boxers or briefs ?

I did notice a recurring theme

omfglololol

this thread is wrong.. and i cant stop reading it

and the 'greek' theme going on...its hitting all my 'spots'

Someone everybody loves will soon be the face of a very BIG campaign for VS. It's SO BIG that WE'LL HAVE TO SHUT DOWN THE MOON FOR THE NIGHT to better regard it's MASSIVE awesomeness. We'll release further details *maybe* - but we don't believe your tiny, feeble (and if you disagree with it's brilliance, hating) minds can even begin to comprehend it as yet.

Yeah, bet you wish you knew what it was don't you? But you can't. Cos that's the way this thread rolls. Siemgi knows, and that's cool as we can hint about things to each other in a smug way that is at once condescending to you and yet marks us out as rather special members.

Oh, don't worry we'll shove it in your face as FACT when we decide to, and if it doesn't quite pan out that great then we'll simply pretend none of this ever happened, and won't be held to account for these insidious overblown announcements...

Lovin' how everybody is pretending to not see your post Baron. They're so jealous. But TBH, if I were them, I'd be jealous of us too...

I can't really get into specifics, otherwise our very trustable source would probably get their ass fired from the Ultimate VS Insiders club, but believe me, it's gonna be as huge as a pregnant Doutzen! Maybe even as huge as two pregnant Doutzens! It'll redefine the brand, be the end of VS as we know it, lead to a huge Angel Supermodel Bombshell line-up shake-up (but fear not, my friends, obviously someone is going to stay aboard the Mothership, she is, after all, the one and only true Head Angel like Heidi used to be after Tyra was after Daniela was after Stephanie was, the erst are just nameless faceless replaceable minions) and it's gonna be awesome! And massive, too.

Anyways, keep your eyes open, it'll blow your mind even more than when Adriana appeared in the '09 show, while giving birth.

^Yeah, you can blink - but we know what's coming and you'd probably be best to keep them eyes tightly shut, else them blinkers will pop put if your not careful with this BIG BIG BIG news!

Main thing is we know something that you don't - and when you do know it, well, then we can say: "We already knew that". But for some reason we're going to tell you we know something that we can't (or just plain won't) tell you about now, so that we can let you know that we're higher up the VS insiders food-chain than you are in a new patronising way. But we do know it - and it's MASSIVE...

Unless it's not. Then we'll just never come back to it. And if you criticise this (somehow) unBIG news and it's INCREDIBLE model then you'll just be HATERS, obviously.

We got the eggheads at NASA, Victoria Beckham, Kanye West, that big fella who wears the throws and kaftan-type shit who works at US Vogue doing something (Andre something?), and a poll of A MILLION ILL-INFORMED AND KNEE-JERK REACTIONARY PEOPLE to decide what were the most sexy things - so there could be NO arguments. Who's gonna argue with that as a panel?

So, who made it? Who didn't? Why are these categories so incredibly arbitrary? Without further ado: WHAT IS SEXY? 2011

SEXIEST MURDER WEAPON IN CLUEDO:

"Eeeeees verrry sexxxxy deeed ledddd piiiiiiping. I tink is verrry sexxxxxy. Eeeess sexy, no? Ledddd piiiiiping. I teeenk."

SEXIEST FRUIT:

"Yooo tink we gonna say ashparaaaaagusssss, or oyyyyyyshtersh, cos dey saaay deees eeees sexxxxxxy. But pineapple mucccccch sexxxxxxier."

SEXIEST SIMPSONS CHARACTER:

"Oooooh, Groundskeeper Willie. He soooooo sexxxxxxy. With heeees muskles, and heeees beeeeerd. All man!"

SEXIEST WORD:

"What eees theees, "fucknutty"? Eeees a biscuit???"

SEXIEST BELLAZONIAN:

"Eeees Sweet Lu. Ayayayayay... Heeees mucccch sexier than the Jimmy Changa. Ale, she say Jimmy Changa - I say Jimmy Changa look and smell like sheeet."

SEXIEST THING ON A McDONALD'S MENU:

"Feeelet-O-Feeesh. I love to say eeeet. And I no like deee meeeeet. Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh."

SEXIEST JACKSON:

"Eeees Teeeeeto. He play geeeeeetarrrrr. And he got a beeeg afro."

SEXIEST BELLAZONIAN:

"Eeees Sweet Lu. Ayayayayay... Heeees mucccch sexier than the Jimmy Changa. Ale, she say Jimmy Changa - I say Jimmy Changa look and smell like sheeet."

HEAR YEEEEEEE HEAR YEEEEEEEEEEEEE, ALL PEASANTS MAKE WAY FOR THE FOLEY

Damn straight

Sorry to divert the conversation from your miraculous and very sexy self, Lu, but I just had to gush about that new campaign that only Baron and I know about.

I have seen the final product and hold on to your Cotton Lingerie and Nakeds, guys, it's incredible. It has all those sexy little things, the background looks insanely gorgeous, the bodies are amazing... They really look like bombshells. The product's design is so amazing, think biofit meets glamour, and one of favourite models looks so good in pink. It's like a dream, Angels. Heavenly.

Sorry to divert the conversation from your miraculous and very sexy self, Lu, but I just had to gush about that new campaign that only Baron and I know about.

it might be that Pink is trying to gain some male fans

or women Jen or women...

Hopefully in France when it come to subliminal message about booty sex we are so much more subtle then the prudish America...

Or not!

REAL ad published in magazines ~ God bless la France!

You better should see some ads here in Slovakia with naked people on it God Bless Slovakia

by the way, I´m so at Sweet Lu, and so at those SUPER SECRET GREAT NEWS

like

TELL MEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Hi Mom the sexiest bellazonian man says.... freaking classic.

baron...siemgi.... this shit better be epic.. or u get a :trout: to the head

the Dowager Cuntess wills it so, so shall it be!

JENNNKKKAAA!! i havent seen you in a coons age!!!

i almost peed on myself over that cat reaction pic

<33