Next Victim...

Dear ladies of Bellazon,

Your good friend of TooBoku has come across a challenge that has been messing his head up every single day for the past few months. It seems he has developed a particular interest in one of his housemates. In comparisson to the rest of his housemates, this one seems to be more withdrawn, especially lately. Perhaps I'm just imagining things and it's just that everyone was out of the house for three weeks for Christmas break but I'm sensing she's been spooked by something. Probably the last time our eyes really locked and at least I felt something but who knows. All I know is that ever since a total of five sentances have been exchanged and she would generally "ignore" me when I would walk into the room. Like she was scared of making eye contact again. Probaly though, I'm just imagining things. I do that a lot.

Anyway, I've come to grow somewhat fond of this housemate, as prior to this we used to have some pretty lengthy conversations about politics while she would silently chuckle at my clumbsyness when I would make pancakes in the morning. I'm not looking to run off with her to some deserted tropical island or anything. I just want things back to the way things were and get to know whats going on in the head of hers a little more.

So, I've got four months until the end of semester. Plenty of time you may think but it often takes longer than that with the shy ones, especially if both of you spend the majority of your waking hours on opposite sides of the school, you both go home on the weekends, and she has longer weekends. Even her close friends from her hometown have trouble getting some hang out time with her it seems.

I've been kind of winging it thus far just paying attention to her moods and stuff. Taking it slow, trying not to bother her too much, but it's not that easy to be waiting and anticipating when you can get a good chat going without seeming too overbearing. It actually got to the point where I rigged the 'secret santa' in our house so I could give her a nicer Christmas present without seeming too obvious but I think she saw that coming. She even left for the holidays a day early. She packed her bags and caught everyone off guard when she came upstairs to say goodbye. I tried to give her her present but she gave it back and asked if she could open it when we all got back from holidays since she already packed.

I dunno...

I'm pretty sure the current 'strategy' is probably the right one to employ but what if I don't have enough time?

I can't just tell her. She's a little to fragile for that... maybe?

I thought Christmas was the perfect time to give her some extra attention without seeming too eager but I guess she saw right through that.

So dear ladies of Bellazon, you shy ones in particular, what are some strategies I could employ? What should I do more of and what should I do less of?

Trying not to let this get under my skin too much. Priority one is still getting good grades and getting a good internship. It would just be really nice not to be a stranger after the semester ends and we go our separate ways.

NOTE: For all intents and purposes, TooBoku is very happily single and would like to remain that way for as long as possible. It would be foolish however to ignore things like this just because you want to stay single. Life happens whether you want it to or not.

What are your intentions? Just friends?

BTW, about just friends, why would a straight guy need more women in his life who won't have sex with him??

You always seem to have all the answers for life's hardest questions don't you?

I'm so glad your unending wealth of wisdom from the long hard life you've lived is so readily available to a shmuck like me.

Intentions? Whatever I could get.

Why? I feel drawn to her for some reasson I can't figure out quite yet.

Why a straight guy needs more women in his life who don't have sex with him? Because he already has enough that do.

She doesn't seem interested. That's my conclusion.

Sadly Fred, that is also very possible. Despite my rugged handsomness and my boyish charm, I still may not be completely irresistable.

It's too easy however to come to that conclusion just because she doesn't jump on you right away. A lot of the times those 'easy' girls are just with you for the wrong reasons anyway (ie. TooBoku has been sucking back tequila all night and is buying drinks for a three pack on vaccation from Vancouver so he can crash in their hotel room instead of getting a 45-minute taxi ride to take him all the way home. He doesn't score all three but he either scores the prettiest one or someone else does and he gets to party hard with the other two). Notice how 'easy' is in quatations because that usually means I end up spending about $300 that night anyway. They're out the door just as easily as they come in.

Anyway, by no means am I qualified to make any sort of psychoanalysis but...

- even though she's pretty, she dresses conservatively

- at school she always has at least one of her girls with her

- maybe it's me, but she is smarter and prettier than those girls

- this isn't a group of 'ashlees' who are the most popular girls in school

- ie. the girls she feels safe around, no threat to her and they keep away the stupid people

- she keeps them close and tries to do fun girl things to do together like yoga

- never see her around guys, i don't think she's gay, that'll have it's own telltale signs

- absolutely loves going home for the weekends and does so as often as possible (every weekend almost)

- is vocal about her opinions in her politics class

- doesn't do too well in groups with more aggresive type people, she typically withdraws

- will talk her head off if she feels safe around you and you are listening, she loves presenting her knowledge

- she on the phone a lot... with her mom

- despite that she is very independant and likes to do things on her own

- she was also homeschooled for a while, making her a bit sheltered from the other kids

- she also moved a few times back and fourth between a really small town and an even smaller hamlet... if you can even call it that (coinsidentally Iused to go there all the time because there was a cool cliff you could jump off of)

- i clearly am overanalyzing this because this list just got freakishly long

Long story short she seems to be an introverted thinker. (ie. shy and afraid of boys) So although she very well may not be interested, she might also need a significantly longer time to trust a guy.

In any case, I like the way she thinks. Whether or not this is a romantic persuit is up to fate but I would be troubled if at the end we didn't stay in touch.

Anyway, I bumped into her at school had some small talk and I'm supposed to be cooking her dinner tonight. We'll see how that goes.

It's nice living with someone you have a crush on... they can't really escape you. :evil:

She sounds like relationship material, not 'fooling around' material. But you're cooking her dinner, so you already know that. Anyway, I'm rooting for you, stretch!

You always seem to have all the answers for life's hardest questions don't you?

I'm so glad your unending wealth of wisdom from the long hard life you've lived is so readily available to a shmuck like me.

Of course dude, you are still in college and i have already been through it...

Why a straight guy needs more women in his life who don't have sex with him? Because he already has enough that do.

Then why spend $300 buying drinks for random "easy" girls that aren't even a confirmed lay....

I'm just wondering.

I can relate.. been there done that.

BUt I also say..

It sounds like a huge crush.. but I wonder if she is trying hard to get or .. get away toward poor Toobs.

I hope it all turns out Toob.. let her know you are interested in a subtel way and be a friend mostly .. just go with the flow and see how it turns out.. I would say if you want more than friendship .. it should at least start there first.

I'm willing to give my advice Toobs, but you would be better served in doing the exact opposite of what I tell you. I'm the Reverse Barometer of Love.

My own heart is still tormenting me with feelings for the girl who couldn't have shot me down worse if I were a Navy flier/four star admiral's son and she was a North-Vietnamese AA installation...

Why does my heart still has to suffer through her Hanoi Hilton is a mystery to me...

Thanks az, it's nice to know there are people on your sie

Go ahead and shoot SS, I'm an open book right now.

Anyway, check this out. I got stood up at my house by someone who lives at my house.

I'm guessing there was a prior engagement. Any way you look at this though, it doesn't look good.

My other roomie and I waited for almost an hour before deciding to just fuck it and eat.

She could have at least sent a text. She has my number.

Anyway, that's what you get for giving freshmen the benefit of a doubt that they'll have some degree of maturity.

I'm taking a break from this. I got an aquarium to clean out.

The crush on your roommate scenario is rarely the glory trail people hope for. That being said, for her to not even text and cancel; wow, that's like going out of your way to hurt the other person's feelings.

I know eh? I'm not even gonna think about it anymore. I'll probably even forget what she looks like for a while.

Went to the gym blasting death metal into my head and did squats until I almost puked. Feel good now.

Will finish off the aquarium today, maybe build something with the dremel and then tomorrow night I'm gonna chase some tail.

hmm first i was going to say that she probably had a crush on you and now that you've found out (-->eye contact) she feels embarrassed. her personality is similar to mine and if i was in her situation i wouldve thought you're not interested because you seem to be ignoring it (from her point of view).

but that dinner thing confused me a little ... maybe she's too difficult for us all i guess she doesnt know how to handle the whole situation or how to talk to you so maybe you should try to make the first move and tell her what you feel? it's better than just to assume that she's not interested. you'll end up calling her arrogant and mean and hurt her feelings for the wrong reasons

hmm first i was going to say that she probably had a crush on you and now that you've found out (-->eye contact) she feels embarrassed. her personality is similar to mine and if i was in her situation i wouldve thought you're not interested because you seem to be ignoring it (from her point of view).

but that dinner thing confused me a little ... maybe she's too difficult for us all i guess she doesnt know how to handle the whole situation or how to talk to you so maybe you should try to make the first move and tell her what you feel? it's better than just to assume that she's not interested. you'll end up calling her arrogant and mean and hurt her feelings for the wrong reasons

LOL, no.

Weakness.

So last night I was supposed to just leave her to the solitude of her room whilst I play flight sim in mine. Unfortunately, the gift I got her for Christmas was in plain view, sitting in it's unopenned trechery, moching me for being such a loser... so I got on the gamecube and if I couldn't pass level 10 in easy mode on Monkey Ball, I would just have to man it up and give it to her.

She liked it but said she felt bad because she forgot about her secret santa gift for the other guy. Then she was all sorry for having to leave a day early because her Mom needed her for something (which I already concluded) and choked a bit when she was talking about her baby brother missing her... not a word about the other night which means that was probably my fault because I didn't really ask her properly... which brings me to the conclusion that I myself might be shy too!

Usually I'm a loner or a drifter but I always thought that was because stupid people annoy me. I have several groups of friends but not too many I consider that close really. This may explain why girls I like never like me back and I'm always stuck with girls that I can't stand! I shy away from the girls I like and am typically more assertive and aggressive with the ones I don't think I could ever get serious with. I'm not afraid of screwing up with them.

HA!

Okay, the problem has been identified. Time to fix it.

not a word about the other night which means that was probably my fault because I didn't really ask her properly.

What?

yeah. I stressed myself out.

It was like...

TB: ... Huh? Oh hey, what's up?

RM: ... Hey, yeah, my friends and I were deciding which yoga class to take. They're all during class except for the one tonight.

[talk talk talk]

[TB starts to walk away and stops and turns around while interrupting her as she's about to start talking to her friends]

TB: (Incoherently) What time you home tonight?

RM: Six

TB: (Even more unsure sounding) Wanna do dinner?

RM: (TooBoku heard "sure")

i hope dinner goes well.. what do you have planned for dinner BTW?

oh that was the other day.

today was showing off the products of my boredom; ie. fixing a black light to the bathroom ceiling and explaining the benefits, like how the toilet paper glows so you can see how clean you're getting.