Your Longest Relationship...

hehe....or soo u think....

Ode to the Nice Guys

This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003

that was beautiful.... reminds me of someone i know

longest relationship was about 2 years.

7 months

that was beautiful....  reminds me of someone i know  

:cry:same 4 me

3 months

I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 3 years.

no relationship yet... well atleast i don't count the one in the 5th grade that lasted for one day lol... but i'm fine without a bf now... wating for the right guy and right time i guess.

Yes, wait for the right guy. You're too young to have a boyfriend anyway. At least that is what I tell my little sister.

Never had a relationship. Perhaps never gonno have one. Not even one girl has ever showed any kind of interest toward me. I must be the least attractive man on this planet. Even if I had a relationship I would not know how to live in it. I think it would be too complicated for me. How would I survive the ending of a relationship, it must feel frustrating and sad. How do people have time for a relationship? So many questions...

Life is hard and bitter and then you die...

Never had a relationship. Perhaps never gonno have one. Not even one girl has ever showed any kind of interest toward me. I must be the least attractive man on this planet. Even if I had a relationship I would not know how to live in it. I think it would be too complicated for me. How would I survive the ending of a relationship, it must feel frustrating and sad. How do people have time for a relationship? So many questions...

Life is hard and bitter and then you die...

first off, life is good.

secondly I once again say that girls don't flock to you because of your negative attitude.

I think he just needs a better attitude and it would do wonders for him.

I was positive when I was younger. When you are 18 you think everything is possible. Now I'm 34 and I know how hard it has been and almost nothing good has happened. I educated myself highly, but I'm working with very small salary and I barely can pay my bills. I have to fear getting fired all the time. You will become bitter when you get older. You have been warned...

One thing, I don't show my bitter to women, I always do my very best to look positive, of course, but they just "walk away". Can't blame them, I'm not that handsome... ...here on the forum I can communicate like others because this disadvantage it removed, you can't see me!

Are you saying that Finland sucks?

Not only Finland, but the hole world.

No need for that. I am bitter 24/7 now.

Here we are, USA sucks as well...

Don't just look, open your mouth, say, "How you doin'?" (Joey Tribbiani style).  :evil:  :evil:  :evil:

I speak to them (in Finnish of course).

You have a great personality, plus you don't look like Mick Jagger or Robert Radford, right?

That's what I mean, you "see" my personality from what I write. Robert Redford is f*cking handsome, isn't he???

Mick Jagger gets laid because he is a huge rockstar.

Yes, the whole world sucks, but thanks to Petra, I believe there is still some good in this world.

Same here but thanks to Inés, Roselyn, Ali,...

You may look confident, but do you sound confident?

I think I don't look and sound confident.

I was positive when I was younger. When you are 18 you think everything is possible. Now I'm 34 and I know how hard it has been and almost nothing good has happened. I educated myself highly, but I'm working with very small salary and I barely can pay my bills. I have to fear getting fired all the time. You will become bitter when you get older. You have been warned...

One thing, I don't show my bitter to women, I always do my very best to look positive, of course, but they just "walk away". Can't blame them, I'm not that handsome... ...here on the forum I can communicate like others because this disadvantage it removed, you can't see me!

I won't become bitter when I'm older, I can see the good in life.

If you're so unhappy with your life/job why don't you do something about it? I don’t want to here wahh wahh the worlds against me, changing your life starts with YOU. It starts with changing your attitude, your thinking patterns, your out look of life. Quite frankly your outlook/attitude/way of thinking now sucks and nothing will happen until you take the first step in changing yourself.

People are intuitive creatures, they will sense how you’re really feeling. If you ever decide to make a change they will feel that too. And not just women, all people...your boss, friends etc.

Well said Muffin.

I won't become bitter when I'm older, I can see the good in life.

If you're so unhappy with your life/job why don't you do something about it? I don’t want to here wahh wahh the worlds against me, changing your life starts with YOU. It starts with changing your attitude, your thinking patterns, your out look of life. Quite frankly your outlook/attitude/way of thinking now sucks and nothing will happen until you take the first step in changing yourself.

I hope you won't become bitter. I see many good things in life but those things are in jeopardy. It is devastating to see good things destroyed. The only thing that counts these days is money. If something nice and beautiful is not productive it is eliminated. Everything has to be efficient these days and I hate efficiency, takes the fun out of everything. You are right, changing my life starts with me. I'm educated and smart. I know not much can be done. It's naive to think you can wish away all problems. Anyway I'm planning something. Time will tell what happens. Your opinions are important to me, I might have realised something very important which makes me feel better.

I'm not that unhappy. Most things are in good order in my life. I just know that we all could have even better lifes if those in power were not so stupid. The first thing we have to do to change our lifes is to vote politicians from the green party. They are intelligent, thinking people. I always vote them but I can do more, encourage others to do the same.

Maybe I'm not that bitter after all, just not as full of hope as I used to be when I was young and naive.