Football

A heartfelt congratulations to The Royal Blues for finally replicating their scintillating Bundesliga form in the Champions League. Nothing gets me more hot under the collar then when those wacky defenders go wandering forward like flabby kneed old drunks! Sie sind sehr attraktiv wenn sie nicht!

Did anyone see the interview? Pep was actually quite calm (which makes it all less funny).

I did read one report describing Guardiola's manner as 'controlled rage' but my eyes have yet to see it for themselves. Pep does look as if he's feeling the effects of a long hard season, though it's to his credit that he hasn't shown any signs of annoyance with Mourinho until now. He lasted longer than Jose's rivals usually do, anyway.

Deep down, I suspect Mourinho knows Madrid can ill afford to concede an away goal and therefore has started with the frustration tactics before the game even kicks off. Silly as it might sound, a 0-0 draw tonight would probably suit him better than a 2-1 win.

If anybody can pull this off is Mourinho, not a fan of him but we all know what he can do.

Arsenal, Schalke....sometimes it seems everybody makes it easy for ManUtd. From the first minute it was obvious Schalke were not able to defend, Fabio running at their defense, Rooney getting chances, Valencia crossing

Messi >>> shit football.

Thank goodness for little Leo. Without his cracking brace, there wouldn't have been any actual football played last night. Awful, awful game.

Porto - Villarreal could be a good match

Apparently it was. Villa Boas is the new Mourinho they say, but I haven't heard a peep about Barca conspiracies yet coming from Porto's direction

Thank goodness for little Leo. Without his cracking brace, there wouldn't have been any actual football played last night. Awful, awful game.

Apart from the fact that Pep has all but adopted Pedro, there cannot be any argument for him to start Pedrito ahead of Affelay. Not whilst Pedro is still so woefully out of form. The Dutchman did more in his short cameo than Pedro has done in the past three games.

Porto - Villarreal could be a good match

If there's an out-and-out striker in European football currently hotter than Falcao, I haven't seen him. Should they hang on to their better players and improve defensively next year, Porto could do some serious damage in the Champions League.

Congrats on winning the title, Freddy!

Pity about the Brom goal though. Scrappy stuff.

Congrats on winning the title, Freddy!

Pity about the Brom goal though. Scrappy stuff.

Well done Dortmund - first league title since 2002, I believe.

So the wave of renewed optimism after beating Wigan is now back down to a dribble following Saturday's game. Sorry Brucey but injury crisis or not, no Premier League side worth their salt should be shipping three at home to Fulham. Between the lack of a recognised striker in our ranks and the pathetic state of the back four, I'll be genuinely shocked if we manage another point in our remaining three games.

So the wave of renewed optimism after beating Wigan is now back down to a dribble following Saturday's game. Sorry Brucey but injury crisis or not, no Premier League side worth their salt should be shipping three at home to Fulham. Between the lack of a recognised striker in our ranks and the pathetic state of the back four, I'll be genuinely shocked if we manage another point in our remaining three games.

Congrats Dortmund

David Luiz agrees, apparently...

Conspiracy theorists be damned. Over the two legs, the better team won.

David Luiz agrees, apparently...

is that guy always like that in interviews?

^That was the first time I'd ever seen him interviewed but apparently so.

I've never had a great deal of time for Chelsea but it's hard not to like a guy like Luiz. His pure unfiltered enthusiasm makes him the perfect counterpoint to overrated, self-important dullards like Lampard and Terry.