Football

Second last. GRRRR

Animo Tito.

Champions League last 16 draw:

Galatasaray v Schalke

Celtic v Juventus

Arsenal v Bayern Munich

Shakhtar Donetsk v Borussia Dortmund

AC Milan v Barcelona

Real Madrid v Manchester United

Valencia v Paris St Germain

Porto v Malaga

Capital One Cup semi-final draw:

Chelsea v Swansea

Bradford v Aston Villa

Animo Tito.

Champions League last 16 draw:

Galatasaray v Schalke

Celtic v Juventus

Arsenal v Bayern Munich

Shakhtar Donetsk v Borussia Dortmund

AC Milan v Barcelona

Real Madrid v Manchester United

Valencia v Paris St Germain

Porto v Malaga

Capital One Cup semi-final draw:

Chelsea v Swansea

Bradford v Aston Villa

Shakhtar's a toughy but a goody. There's no doubt that we're not as defensively tight as in the past two seasons but I would except us to outscore them over two games. Bayern away in the DFB Cup, too.

And as for Bradford, its the the team we wanted to draw but we have to make sure we don't, ahem, Arse it up. We must show no mercy.

Europa League last-32 draw:

BATE Borisov v Fenerbahce

Inter Milan v Cluj

Levante v Olympiakos

Zenit St Petersburg v Liverpool

Dynamo Kiev v FC Bordeaux

Bayer Leverkusen v Benfica

Newcastle v FC Metalist Kharkiv

Stuttgart v Genk

Atletico Madrid v Rubin Kazan

Ajax v Steaua Bucharest

FC Basel v Dnipro

Anzhi Makhachkala v Hannover

Sparta Prague v Chelsea

Borussia Monchengladbach v Lazio

Tottenham v Lyon

Napoli v Plzen

Transfer window approaching, who would you like to see your club sign in January?

A club record 8-0 defeat two days before Christmas, three days before Spurs, six days before Wigan and nine days before Swansea. You've got to laugh.

A club record 8-0 defeat two days before Christmas, three days before Spurs, six days before Wigan and nine days before Swansea. You've got to laugh.

Unfortunately I'm no stranger to that particular feeling. 7-2 and 7-1 hammerings against Chelsea in 2010 and Everton in 2007 still occasionally haunt me, and I was fearing another one at Old Trafford last week until our usual too-little-too-late rally towards the end. Villa heads appeared to drop immediately following the opener, which I suppose is always a possibility when you're forced to gamble with youth. Still, from an outsider's perspective, the previous six-game unbeaten run represents progress for Lambert.

Well, we had to beat Reading and Southampton and we beat Reading and Southampton. Not exactly the stuff dreams are made of, but it's what I wanted for Christmas. Cheers Santa.

As an added bonus, I also beat a Mag fan in the first round of Fantasy Cup this weekend.

It went in, Adam!

That's more like it, and how I've missed you, mid-table obscurity! Things slowly seem to be falling into place for us with Johnson, McClean and Sessegnon finally starting to create on a more consistent basis. Solid at the back, restricted a high quality side to relatively few real openings. Patches of assured play and some dangerous looking attacks on the break. A great result, now keep it going Martin.

Can I just say that the Adam Johnson goal - once again - proves how absurd the whole "Joe Hart is the greatestest goalkeeper the world has ever seen!" rhetoric is?

If he wasn't English he would be deemed at the level of say, Mark Schwarzer.

Can I just say that the Adam Johnson goal - once again - proves how absurd the whole "Joe Hart is the greatestest goalkeeper the world has ever seen!" rhetoric is?

If he wasn't English he would be deemed at the level of say, Mark Schwarzer.

On account of being English and really quite good (which admittedly, has become a rare combination as of late), Ashley Cole was all but deified a couple of years ago by a media desperate to lay claim to one of their own as 'best in the world in his position', and now it seems to be Hart's turn. He's a good keeper, better than most, but people wouldn't go half as loopy over him if Cech, Reina or even Szczesny were English.

On account of being English and really quite good (which admittedly, has become a rare combination as of late), Ashley Cole was all but deified a couple of years ago by a media desperate to lay claim to one of their own as 'best in the world in his position', and now it seems to be Hart's turn. He's a good keeper, better than most, but people wouldn't go half as loopy over him if Cech, Reina or even Szczesny were English.

Before this current campaign, I would certainly have added Reina to that list as well.

I'd rank Hart around the same place as De Gea. In that you have to take the good with the bad and most days there is a lot more good than bad.

Well, we're abysmal again. Fifteen against, none for...in three games. Utterly unacceptable by anyone's standards, let alone Aston Villa.

Within the premier league, I would say he is roughly in the middle of the pack. There are quite a few premiership keepers I would rank ahead of him: Vorm, Krul, Guzan, Mignolet, Howard, Friedel, Cech.

Before this current campaign, I would certainly have added Reina to that list as well.

I'd rank Hart around the same place as De Gea. In that you have to take the good with the bad and most days there is a lot more good than bad.

Hart's reputation far outweighs his actual ability, that's for sure, and he's got a hell of a way to go to become world class. That being said, he'd probably still be in my top five Premier League keepers. I sometimes think the increased criticism of him is more of a rally against the poor and ridiculously biased punditry you often get from the likes of Chiles and Redknapp, who refuse to admit even when he's blatantly at fault, and ITV and Sky, who produce all those irritating montages comparing him to Banks and Shilton.

Mignolet appears to be having a 'save of the year' contest all by himself at the moment, and unfortunately for us, the nagging feeling that he's destined for greater things is slowly but surely becoming a constant. As has often been the case this season, he kept us in Saturday's game for long, long periods.

Dear Gareth Bale,

If your legs stop working every time you receive a light bump to the chest, may I suggest seeing a doctor.

"People keep saying I'm diving, but if there's contact it's not diving. Referees need to look more closely."

Pull the other one, you cheating, chimp faced bastard.

If you're going down of your own free will, which Bale does all too frequently, then it's a dive, contact or not, foul or not. And with regard to getting a 'reputation' - well Gareth, if you stop throwing yourself to the floor at the slightest brush of someone else's sock against yours, you won't get a reputation for throwing yourself to the floor. Problem solved.