Football

My favourite one is "he's entitled to go down". Pulitzer prize winning pundit Gary Neville can keep crowing on about this until Ed Chamberlain can finally grow facial hair but the idea that this phrase in any way successfully exonerates cheating is an absolute non-starter.

Good job Brian "no more kidding around" Kidd was on hand to stop these two washer women fighting.

"People keep saying I'm diving, but if there's contact it's not diving. Referees need to look more closely."

Pull the other one, you cheating, chimp faced bastard.

When will City realize that they need to get rid of that spoiled brat named mario Balotelli and the worthless manager - Mancini as well?

My favourite one is "he's entitled to go down". Pulitzer prize winning pundit Gary Neville can keep crowing on about this until Ed Chamberlain can finally grow facial hair but the idea that this phrase in any way successfully exonerates cheating is an absolute non-starter.

The 'entitled to go down' claptrap does indeed seem to be the new official line on the subject, courtesy of messrs Neville, Hansen and Lawrenson. Trouble is, this isn't something Bale has just recently started doing. I distinctly remember him receiving a yellow card and a low score for artistic impression for a blatant dive in a game against us in 2008. Still, the fact that he's starting to miss games through suspension might mean that he'll think twice about collapsing next time, which I suppose in itself, could represent a small victory in the fight against diving.

Welcome aboard Alfred! If you thought getting the best out of Batman was tricky, wait until you meet Stephane Sessegnon.

Shut up, Messi is the best player alive and therefore simply deserved the Ballon d'Or

Not that we deserved anything from the game but nevertheless...

"There's no contact, Jay has moved his leg out of the way, but it's just as well as there would have been contact." - Professor Nigel Adkins, ladies and gentlemen.

At least this happened

Looks like we have ourselves another new signing in the form of Kader Mangane, a giant Senegalese defender who's apparently coming on a season's loan. I've never knowingly seen him play, but since I'm a football fan with access to the internet, I feel compelled to make the following statements...

• He's the new Vincent Kompany and a sensational signing by Martin.
  
• He's okay but unlikely to make that much of a difference to the team.
  
• What the hell is O'Neill playing at, signing this joker?
  

Of course, I've no idea which one is accurate but I'll probably just come back to this post at the end of the season, edit it and delete whichever two prove to be incorrect. :Dinah:

Newsflash: Bale's Mother got attacked at the airport

Details

Newsflash: Bale's Mother got attacked at the airport

Details

So, Guardiola to join Bayern in the summer. Hands up who saw that one coming?

I am not a Bayern fan at all but it really depends what he is looking for. I can't see Bayern going higher than they are, yes Dortmund have won more recently but generally Bayern have the Bundesliga in the bag. I can't see them as 'regular' UCL winners either, they can go far and may be even win but they already at that stage without Pep.

So, Guardiola to join Bayern in the summer. Hands up who saw that one coming?

So, Guardiola to join Bayern in the summer. Hands up who saw that one coming?

*holds hands up*

They are by far the best fit for his style of play (second to only Barça in both possession and pass completion stats), they had a manager with an expiring contract this Summer and they are one of the best run clubs in Europe.

So, Guardiola to join Bayern in the summer. Hands up who saw that one coming?

*holds hands up*

They are by far the best fit for his style of play (second to only Barça in both possession and pass completion stats), they had a manager with an expiring contract this Summer and they are one of the best run clubs in Europe.

It certainly makes sense. Bayern are a footballing institution built on sustained success over many a year, with a ton of young talent and in one of the most competitive leagues in the world. Clearly though, no-one in the English press had any idea where Guardiola was heading. Their ignorance (sometimes wilful, sometimes not) of anything happening outside the Premier League is embarrassing and hilarious in equal measure.

Best moment of a rather drab African Nations so far, courtesy of DR Congo keeper Robert Kidiaba.

Probably the most feeble six weeks I can recall in my time. I thought we might just be getting it together when we beat Norwich and Liverpool back to back but the reality is, the squad is terrible and the tactics are getting more baffling by the second. I find the whole enterprise a complete embarrassment at the moment.