Football

Lukaku's second goal looked like the Harlem Globetrotters against the Washington Generals, any better and they'd have been playing 'Sweet Georgia Brown' over the replays.

And Chile is going to the World Cup too!

After winning 2 - 1 against Ecuador 

Still, Poland have a solid foundation to build upon, eh Adrian? 

We were held by the mighty Wales at home...
 

Holland is in as usual I think,that's so great I love this team but sadly again it's Turkey that is out this time.

A potential reprieve for Croatia but no such luck for Stimac, he's out of a job today.

Well done Roy for getting it done in convincing(ish) fashion. Another decent performance from Andros Townsend, too. Won't be long before Harry Redknapp's media mates are singing his praises for his part in the lad's development, despite loaning him out eight times and trying to sell him for half a mil.

Also, Eidur Gudjohnsen is still alive.

Everybody seen the mystifying Bayer Neverkusen goal? Absolutely pathetic.

Just £9.99! 

Warning: disc may stench of small time nothingness!

Ibra did another Ibra thing I see.

^I love you, Ibra.
 

Just £9.99! 
 

Warning: disc may stench of small time nothingness!

 
Based on United's plucky 1-1 draw against mid-table rivals Southampton, Albion may want to get their graphics department to make the 'impossible dream' bit slightly smaller.

Right now, I'd like nothing more than to say that we're in another relegation scrap, because the word 'scrap' would imply that the players are actually going to give it a go, fight to the bitter end and try and stay in the Premier League. It's simply beyond this lot.

European play-off draw for the World Cup:
 

Portugal v Sweden
France v Ukraine
Greece v Romania
Iceland v Croatia

Portugal is in deep doo-doo.

Croatia meanwhile got lucky.

The Frogs aren't home and dry either.

And would anyone miss either Greece or Romania from the WC (not counting their own fans, obviously)?

The draw is a worst-case scenario for Portugal, but I’d imagine a big name like Ronaldo not going to the World Cup would be hugely regrettable for FIFA. Keep a close eye on the officiating in that one.

I'm expecting a third act twist in which Zlatan and Cristy Ron reveal that they've defected and created their own country - Zlatron. 

I'm expecting a third act twist in which Zlatan and Cristy Ron reveal that they've defected and created their own country - Zlatron.

 

I'm expecting a third act twist in which Zlatan and Cristy Ron reveal that they've defected and created their own country - Zlatron.

 

I assume that the 1st person does not exist in that countries grammar?

Back on schedule

Wenger out!

Zlatan score goal!