Football
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Oh Luis Figo (who made the draw), how could you? 
Would have much preferred it for Mourinho to face either his old club Real Madrid or his old mate Guardiola and get stuffed.
Champions League semi-final draw
Real Madrid vs Bayern Munich
Atletico Madrid vs Chelsea
Europa League semi-final draw
Sevilla vs Valencia
Benfica vs Juventus
A Madrid derby final would do me. One, it prevents even more utterly inane articles about the 'fascinating' mind games between Pep Guacamole and Jose Moronho. Two, any possibility of a John Terry "redemption" final is beyond repulsive and must be prevented at all costs. And three, I don't want that chubby backstabbing midget Mario winning any more trophies than is strictly necessary.
Benfica-Juventus should be good.
Champions League semi-final draw
Real Madrid vs Bayern Munich
Atletico Madrid vs Chelsea
Bayern over Real all the way!!
I would love to see Atletico beat Chelsea but that is going to be hard. Atletico has pulled off some surprise wins this season and proven themselves. Simeone seems to be getting better and better also. It's going to be interesting to watch for sure.
MARIO, WHAT'S THE SCORE, MARIO, MARIO, WHAT'S THE SCORE? MARIO, WHAT'S THE...
Just the tonic one needs after watching yet another feeble Villa doormat display.
And another disappointing game for Barca 
Real Madrid crashed Almeria 4-0. Barca result heats up atmosphere before upcoming final of King's Cup. I hope Real Madrid is able to win first trophy this season.
Looks like Costa will not be making it to the championship game against Chelsea. I hope his injury isn't that serious and he can make it to the World Cup.
Lambert's two lieutenants both suspended by the club. Another new manager beckons.
Lambert's two lieutenants both suspended by the club. Another new manager beckons.
Surprising to see Shay Given named as one of the temporary replacements, I was under the impression that Lambert had had enough of him as well.
Lambert's two lieutenants both suspended by the club. Another new manager beckons.
Surprising to see Shay Given named as one of the temporary replacements, I was under the impression that Lambert had had enough of him as well.
Shay's far too old and on an ungodly amount of money but bearing in mind the rest of our 'Bomb Squad' he's a comparative delight to look back upon. And even now he's probably still better than Jed Steer, yet another bewildering Lambert acquisition. Best case scenario is this wacky gang of misfits pull out a few improbable results like Gary McAllister did when Gerry Houllier got poorly. Then, day zero.
El Chimpface has arrived.
Hala Madrid 
We won the Cup 
Connor Wickham settles the title race - now there's a sentence I never thought I'd type.
A convincing impersonation of a team capable of survival tonight, but the reality is that it's too little, too late. It's just possible though that Poyet is still the right man to lead us in the Championship (cringe!) next season.
Big Vito must be an Allen Ginsberg fan because that was an absolute Howl-er!
Mannone's desperate slow-mo attempts at keeping the 'shot' out were agonising to watch, and the error may have quelled any thoughts of the great escape being a slim possibility again, but it would be a shame if that moment was remembered as any kind of season-defining one. It's been such a comedy of errors since the word go, and Vito is one of the few members of the squad who deserves to emerge from this dismal campaign with any credit whatsoever.
Just seen the Bale goal from last night, absolutely stunning. If he'd tried running off the pitch against us though, someone would probably have chucked a pie at him. 
Meanwhile former Real Madrid maestro Jonathan Woodgate has given Oscar voters early food for thought
So dreadful that it's strangely endearing. He's the new Mark Benton!
I hate them, I hate them, I hate them. You get all philosophical about getting relegated, start making jokes about going to Yeovil and Brentford next season, and they go and do something like this. Back on the bloody roller coaster!
Hooray, hooray, the new Villa think tank have found a cure! Too bad its for insomnia.
I found myself guffawing at the Sunderland result, even if its rather against my own interests. Jose Pigeon Face looked mightily peeved, didn't even tickle the press pack's bellies, the grumpy scamp. Still, those text messages to the ol' ball and chain must be arriving earlier and earlier, bless.