The Totally Spurious Victoria's Secret Thread Pinned

Ever wonder what an old and decrepit Candice would look like? Here is a preview:

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Hi Doutzen (and Lindsay)

Meet the Angels at our Very Sexy Tour Stop at VS Aventura

Public Event · By Victoria's Secret.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012.

Come meet the new shapes of Very Sexyâand take a pic with Doutzen Kroes and Lindsay Ellingson! One photo per customer. VIP access only valid with purchase.

Spend $50 and get access to the VIP line!

Bye Doutzen (and Lindsay)

Meet the Angels at our Very Sexy® Tour Stop at VS Aventura.

Tuesday, February 28 5-7pm

Victoria’s Secret Aventura

Come meet the new shapes of Very Sexy®—and take a pic with Erin Heatherton and Candice Swanepoel! One photo per customer. Buy a Very Sexy® bra or fragrance and get access to the VIP line!

Sorry Siemgi. Looks like Lindsay's an unfortunate casualty of the Hi Doutzen/Bye Doutzen treatment. No worries though. The two ladies are now besties and drank their sorrows away together. How kind of Victoria's Secret to give Doutzen a burn buddy.

It just gets worse and worse...

[Russell James says:]

G'day! For the first time, this arvo, you fellas can ask ol' Russ a question on here. You know, like how a lucky bastard like me gets to take photos of sheilas in their underoos, not get arrested, and get paid - starve the lizards! It's not all like that though, photography is pretty hard yakka, and I gotta keep me hair beaut too. Anyway, ask away - hooroo...

Boxers or briefs?

Boxers or briefs?

[Russell James says:]

Boxers. Can't be doing with no budgie smugglers mate. Sometimes got to strap the cobber down though, when I'm snapping some choice norks and stuff - I'm no pantywaist, strewth!

Who is your favorite VS model? I know it's Candice because she is the only VS model, but I thought that will be polite to ask

I love your hat by the way. Do u think they make it for men too?

Oh, oh, oh, I have a question for the follicley gifted James. All the metrosexuals out there are wondering....what conditioner do you use for those gleaming fields of wheat colored locks?

Who is your favorite VS model? I know it's Candice because she is the only VS model, but I thought that will be polite to ask

[Russell James says:]

Geez - I'd give 'em all a fair suck of the sauce bottle, that's a toughie. Used to be Miranda, but now she's bloody Lady Muck of Shit Hall. Reckon Rosie's a long streak of cocky's shit too... Candice? I'd give it a red hot crack! But I didn't come down in the last shower - I know answering this would send me head first down the dunny. So I'm keeping quiet mate...

I love your hat by the way. Do u think they make it for men too?

^Strike a light - this hat is proper swagman! Reckon you're just jealous of my hair. Did they give Fabio this aggro?

Oh, oh, oh, I have a question for the follicley gifted James. All the metrosexuals out there are wondering....what conditioner do you use for those gleaming fields of wheat colored locks?

[Russell James says:]

I tell you, looking after this is no bloody picnic. Out on shoots it gets drier than a nun's nasty - but I use the good old amber nectar to keep it beaut. Always keep some tinnies in my swagbag, along with my gear - and pour that liquid gold down my gullet and over my hair... Bonzer!

Russell tell us the truth, do the models really hate each other?

Aren´t you the one making pregnant all the VS angels? And if yes, why?

Russell tell us the truth, do the models really hate each other?

[Russell James says:]

Y'know, these are a bunch of grouse looking sheilas - so it can get a bit bushweek from time to time when they reckon some girl is getting a fair go and they're left out like cocky on the biscuit tin. Reckon I'll lie doggo about who is worse than others though - but some of them are proper buggers...

Aren´t you the one making pregnant all the VS angels? And if yes, why?

[Russell James says:]

Ol' Russ doesn't need any ankle-biters, so no... Given the chance I'd be in like billy-oh though. You should see some of the drongos these sheilas take up with - bunch of larrikins and ratbags, always putting the bite on for a few notes.

I have another question(s)... It's very controversial but Oh well!

What do u think about Kate Upton? VS material?

Do u like crocodiles? (not to eat! )

I have another question(s)... It's very controversial but Oh well!

What do u think about Kate Upton? VS material?

[Russell James says:]

You trying to stir the possum and get ol' Russ in trouble here? Uh, Kate's fair dinkum. True blue. Dinki di...

Do u like crocodiles? (not to eat! )

^You mean to photograph? Cold, dead eyes, difficult to read, just one emotion. Don't want to come the raw prawn - but kinda like Selita...

^^

and

^^Ugliest feet ever hide them, cut them but do sumthin girl!

Do u like crocodiles? (not to eat! )

^You mean to photograph? Cold, dead eyes, difficult to read, just one emotion. Don't want to come the raw prawn - but kinda like Selita...

[Crocodile says:]

No I mean like you are Australian and like you know u have crocodile & crocodile dundee in Australia and also a lot of crazy killers and maybe u would love to have a crocodile as a pet? To protect you like, you know?

I am sorry I won't ask questions Candice/LindsAy/Erin/blondVSmodel asked me to ask you anymore...

^^

and

^^Ugliest feet ever hide them, cut them but do sumthin girl!

Oh my god. What has been seen cannot be unseen.

Oh shit, i wish i hadn't seen that