Football

With a subs' bench strongly resembling a creche and another foolish red card in the second half, we eventually crumbled thanks to one of Bale's trademark potshots at the end. I'd have preferred it if Di Canio hadn't had to threaten to curtail the players' holidays in order to motivate them, but I'm fairly content with the performance. It was disciplined and for the most part we didn’t lose our brains, a spirited showing considering the meagre resources at hand. So pleased to see the back of the Premier League season. Roll on Champions League final!

Another season that will surely knock a few years off of my life. December through 'til Spring was about as dark a time as is possible, 8-0 Chelsea, 0-3 Wigan, not to mention the utter humiliation of 'the Bradford affair'; heck all of that made losing to Millwall feel like a trip to Hawaii. Such is life. Its hard to overstate the importance of Benteke, from November on he's been extraordinary, scoring all manner of goals, trying desperately to inspire a team that compared to him often seem like sub-species. For that Lambert gets the credit and clearly there's more to come from the likes of Lowton, Westwood and Bennett. There is a plan but ooof did it look like 'send to Championship on a shoe string' at times. Anyway, defensively we've been hopeless from the get go, as a young back four they've taken some proper tonkings but somehow they're still standing, thanks in large part to the brilliant Brad Guzan. A terrible decision by McLeish (imagine that) to let him go, I'm so pleased we brought him back and placed him as numero uno. Weimann was another bright spot, scored some great goals, works extremely hard. Agbonlahor was atrocious for the majority of the season but then turned the corner in a major way when it mattered most. He is Mr. Aston Villa and when he scores it does tend to be extremely important.

Meanwhile...

A trophyless season for a team of our standing, no wonder Brian Kidd is in charge for the American tour! Congratulations to Michael!

^Much appreciated Fred! Pleased to be back on top after a couple of lean years. I might even consider talking to the press again.

How to commemorate Michael's victory: guard of honour? Minutes applause? Or do we just go for convention and build a rubbish statue of Michael Jackson?

After getting blown out 5+ to 0 again, I respect the pros all the more .

Benteke gave the first hint at giving a preference to leaving Villa Park.

He said he will not necessarily accept the clubs decision to wave off any offers.

Fresh from the No Shit, Sherlock Morning Herald, presumably.

Straight from the Belgian press corps who are following the Belgian team on their American training camp.

Straight from the Belgian press corps who are following the Belgian team on their American training camp.

I hope Pulis goes to Real Madrid.

I hope Pulis goes to Real Madrid.

I think Pulis is off to the Dreadfort to help torture Theon Greyjoy.

Looks like ol' Sparky is in the running for Stoke. First signing Jose "relegation heh heh heh" Boswinga?

I hope Pulis goes to Real Madrid.

Pepe and Shawcross together? Mind your ankles!

Predictions for 2013/14, part one of one...

Tony Pulis takes charge at Madrid. Switching to the classic British 4-4-2, Benzema and Higuain are moved to the wings, with Ronaldo up front to get on the end of Crouchy's knock-downs. Ozil, Modric and Coentrao are dropped for their lack of height. At the back, Shawcross and Pepe hit the La Liga fops with assorted 'reducers' while Pulis attempts to accuse all and sundry of play-acting.

Lionel Messi finally decides to give this Premier League lark a try and scores 120 goals in his debut season for a newly minted Arsenal, to cries of 'aha, but could he do it on a cold wet night at the Bernabeu?' from the rogues gallery on Soccer Saturday.

The Stoke board, having been turned down by Roberto Martinez, Gus Poyet, Pep Guardiola and Arsene Wenger, revert to the 'more of the same' approach and get Lawrence Dallaglio in.

Quality Michael.

^

A statement of intent from Monaco today, with Porto's Joao Moutinho and James Rodriguez confirmed to sign for a combined fee of €70m.

Also, Champions League football now on offer to future Europa League winners. So now in theory a club could win the Europa, take part in the Champions League the following season, stall in the group stages, drop back down to the Europa and continue the cycle while also dropping down their domestic league. An unlikely scenario I suppose, but a weird one all the same.

Geaux Dortmund!

Bayern Munich (Y)