The Totally Spurious Victoria's Secret Thread Pinned

Honestly, all this 'Spurious' stuff has been spilling over into that po-faced 'Official' thread - keep it real here people!!!

If "Angels" playing with glitter and glue like pre-schoolers in that VS vid hasn't gotten your paedo urges going - some of them have been kind enough to send their efforts in here too...

Awww, here's Erin's:

And Lindsay's:

Doutzen:

And at least Candice tried:

Even some members have joined in...

Our ace contributor Siemgi hasn't let us down, with his pledge to Lindsay:

vanessaaa:

And even fun newcomer Talisa:

I freakin' love you.

I don't think I can say it enough times

HAHAHAHAHA omg Baron, this is just too good!

LOL!!!! The last heart is the best

jesus christ

Where the fuck is MY heart?! :persuazn:

jesus christ

Where the fuck is MY heart?! :persuazn:

Ohmigodguyzeereetiz!

This is the day you've all been waiting for! After a long poll of 38.42 seconds made up in my head, here is the list of the sexiest women in the world.

As you all know, this time each year, a group of sexy women expert, whose knowledge includes differentiating an Angel, a Bombshell and a Supermodel without fail, giving out the name of each Victoria's secret model and their signature pose in alphabetical order and making very nice heart-shaped collages, get together, get drunk and assign each individual of the feminine sex a spot (or not) in this list.

Now a few informations, before we get down to business. This year is a bit different. With her newly found joy in motherhood, record 8-times-and-a-half-topper and everyone (and we mean everyone, even Pheno)'s fave, Mrs Adriana Lima, decided to opt out of the contest, stating: "I whored a bra with a lot of diamond carrots, I aim the Heed Ayngel, I aim numb her one. I dink it's tayme for someone else to shayne." Or something like that, we're not quite sure yet, we are currently trying to locate Ed Razek, master Limaspeech-English, English-Limaspeech traductor. Wipe your tears, we shall do what the Queen orders us to do.

With that in mind, we factored in every single aspect of what makes a woman's beauty, meaning boobs, personality, boobs, a sense of humor, beautiful eyes (which they say are a window to the soul), ass and boobs. Each girl was assigned a score, then we did some calculation stuff, called their publicists and here we are. So without further ado, here's your list:

10-Marisa Miller, cause a sexy list without Marisa is like a VSFS without Heidi, it just can't happen, right?

9-Chanel Iman, Pretty insisted, we relented

8-Megan Fox, cause, hellooooooooo!

7-Blake Lively, and we totally didn't get paid by Dawn Ostroff, Karl Lagarfeld or Anna Wintour for that

6-Katy Perry, she kissed a girl, we liked it

5-Marisa Miller, cause she is that hot

4-Zoe Saldana, if she can get a dude to change into a huge blue cat-like humanoid thing, she gets our vote

3-Marisa Miller, need we say more?

2-Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, four words: Michael Bay's next movie star

1-Lindsay Ellingson... Or Erin Heatherton... Waitaminute, did someone forget to split the votes between those two?

^OK, OK... I relent!

These polls have finally ground me down. I guess having an imagination is a curse? For one has to eventually buckle under this pressure to conform to what the polls tell you to like (this week), and not what you think you might like yourself. I'm sorry Adriana. I'm sorry everyone.

(And, aw, Michael* )

And at least Candice tried:

Mine was lacking something, so I redid it.

Much better, y/y?

Much better, y/y?

You did alright

You did alright

You did alright

There's been talk (on other, less interesting, threads) that somehow the brand that gave you Tyra Banks and, um, give us a minute, is patronising in it's attitudes towards 'women of colour' when appointing "Angels".

There's no truth in the rumour of a "Token Angel". Nor that since The Great Shouty Forehead's departure VS have had trouble replacing her... Selita Ebanks was in no way a hastily employed replacement - as her many years of HF work and magazine cover appearances will testify. And no truth that the merry-go-round deployment of Aminata, Arlenis and Emanuela was a 'testing-ground' to fill the empty Ebanks space. Even today rumours persist on the authenticity of Chanel Iman's "Angel" status - and whether Gracie or Lais are more important to the brand.

All this is, of course, nonsense. And none of these girls is being utilised any differently from Candice, or Erin, or Lily, or anyone else (except Adriana obviously, pbuh - and possibly Ale). They are all "Angels" TOGETHER - and will continue to all be treated as such...

O M G! Somebody is saying that VS has a 'Token Angel' No way, that is the biggest lie i've ever heard/read, i always though that the fact that they keep replacing a model of coluor with another (brazilian, american or from some other country, but always with dark skin, of course) in every single commercial/campaign was a coincidence!

& we all this talk about Selita is BS, we all know how popular she was before VS made her Tyra's replacement an Angel, she has always been a fashion darling ... Right?

jesus christ

Where the fuck is MY heart?! :persuazn:

Go on - the is up there for you.