What are your thoughts on Virgins that want to wait till marrige.

the only thing i hate about that is that there is a double standard. why do girls have to wait and guys don't. no girl ever says, "i can't marry you because you had sex with someone before me," but it's ok for the guy to say it.

why is it always about the girl keeping it? even at the beginning of this topic, we automatically started talking about women keeping they panties on.

I wanted to post exactly the same. Not really fair, huh?

Fair?

It's not that it's "okay" for a guy to say it, and not a girl. I think it has to do with the fact that it's usually women you hear saying that sort of thing in the first place: "I want to wait till I am married before I have sex". It has nothing to do with what society thinks, or anything like that. The vast majority of men usually don't want to wait, and there's nothing odd in a woman wanting to, in contrast, it's so rare to hear a guy say that.

On a side note, I would ask the people who do want to wait, exactly what they think marriage changes. With the amount of failing marriages these days, people seem to get married for all the wrong reasons, or too young or whatever. Then it fails. I just don't see what marriage actually changes.

the only thing i hate about that is that there is a double standard. why do girls have to wait and guys don't. no girl ever says, "i can't marry you because you had sex with someone before me," but it's ok for the guy to say it.

why is it always about the girl keeping it? even at the beginning of this topic, we automatically started talking about women keeping they panties on.

I wanted to post exactly the same. Not really fair, huh?

Fair?

It's not that it's "okay" for a guy to say it, and not a girl. I think it has to do with the fact that it's usually women you hear saying that sort of thing in the first place: "I want to wait till I am married before I have sex". It has nothing to do with what society thinks, or anything like that. The vast majority of men usually don't want to wait, and there's nothing odd in a woman wanting to, in contrast, it's so rare to hear a guy say that.

On a side note, I would ask the people who do want to wait, exactly what they think marriage changes. With the amount of failing marriages these days, people seem to get married for all the wrong reasons, or too young or whatever. Then it fails. I just don't see what marriage actually changes.

I have this to say to your side note..

look up the statistics of all of the divorces that last less than 7 years.. look at the average for those who has never had sexual relations prior to the person they married. Your answer to what the difference between waiting and not waiting is there. And yes people can get married for wrong reasons but ultimately it is the bonds, baggage and choices to not love that ultimately cause divorce. The lack of commitment has been an issue since more and more people have become more selfish in the situations that they should have thought of someone else as well.

look up the statistics of all of the divorces that last less than 7 years.. look at the average for those who has never had sexual relations prior to the person they married. Your answer to what the difference between waiting and not waiting is there.

Well, the National Statistics Online website contains some statistics - none which fit the criteria you suggested, also the stats they have there appear to be rather outdated (taken in the 90's). So if you want to find me those statistics then go right ahead.

My point is that you don't go into every relationship you've ever had thinking "I don't want to have had sex with this person before I get married to them." Obviously you would have to be someone who is 'saving themselves' till after marriage, but even then I just don't see what connection sex has to marriage. You can’t seriously think every new person you date will be the person you’re with forever (depends how young you are I suppose).

My reason for pointing bringing up failed marriages and divorces was that whilst some people don't rush into marriage (my cousin just got married earlier this year after a 9-year relationship), other people rush into it for the wrong reasons (perhaps the guy just wants to have sex with her ect.) and then it fails and they get divorced.

That is just an old-fashioned view.

i totally see ur point rocktheSky. i think that SOME people just say that because then they'll have some value to themselves because suddenly they have all these qualities that can be admired. like self-control and stuff. thats jst what i think. i do wanna wait till marriage but becuase i think sex is a special thing and a special bond that i only want to share with one guy.

No really? We all remember when Adriana's GQ interview came out and some didn't belive her others said good for her. So my question yo you all is What are your thoughts on people that want to stay virgins until marriage. Would you date one? Why or why not?

it really is a personal preferrance for each inidividual i suppose and i wouldn't be so pretentous as to pass judgement on anyone based on whether or not they want to wait.

as for me personally, i have dated one. several in fact. though uhhh... not all of them were still virgins when we broke up :whistle: but anyways.... lol. i wouldn't not date a girl just because she didn't want to have sex. however, over time certain extremely strong feelings would have to develop in order for me to still feel interested in pursuing a longer relationship. and in all honesty, marriage is a HUGE step and i just don't know if i would ask a girl to marry me unless we had explored all aspects of our relationship. that means tons of things... including physical intimacy.

so yeah. lol. hopefully that made sense.

yeah well i think it depends on how important sex is to you. for me personally its not that important because a day will come when ur all wrinkly and not feeling like having sex. but its not like u would not marry a girl just because she doesn't want to have sex or is bad at sex

look up the statistics of all of the divorces that last less than 7 years.. look at the average for those who has never had sexual relations prior to the person they married. Your answer to what the difference between waiting and not waiting is there.

Well, the National Statistics Online website contains some statistics - none which fit the criteria you suggested, also the stats they have there appear to be rather outdated (taken in the 90's). So if you want to find me those statistics then go right ahead.

My point is that you don't go into every relationship you've ever had thinking "I don't want to have had sex with this person before I get married to them." Obviously you would have to be someone who is 'saving themselves' till after marriage, but even then I just don't see what connection sex has to marriage. You can’t seriously think every new person you date will be the person you’re with forever (depends how young you are I suppose).

My reason for pointing bringing up failed marriages and divorces was that whilst some people don't rush into marriage (my cousin just got married earlier this year after a 9-year relationship), other people rush into it for the wrong reasons (perhaps the guy just wants to have sex with her ect.) and then it fails and they get divorced.

That is just an old-fashioned view.

I know it is coming from an old fashioned view of people who have been married for 20-55 years.. not that they have any ideas about how to not get divorced.. serious.. I like to know people and learn about them.. when I see paople married for many years I am curious why.. in truth.. and I will say the most successful in having a less stressful marriage are the ones with less baggage and people who can commit.. holding on to some like your virginity and giving to the one person you completely want to devote to makes a big deal.. and I hope the young people who are being married because they want to have sex see that this is the reasoning.. it can work if they truly are up for the commitment involved because what they get when they get to be the one and only is magical and no one else canhave it. I know we are in a world that has given up on making each other happy and devoting their lives to each other in commited while taking the good with the bad. I wish it was better understood what the difference between marrying someone you love and someone you will be the only one to have and finally devoting your mind, body and soul to in marriage to compare to loving someone waiting until the "right" moment then marrying in hope you can devote what you can to them. I hope you can see the "old fashioned" view here.. And why it does make a difference to have repsect for yourself and your spouse to wait until this precious moment can be shared in a precious time.

i totally see ur point rocktheSky. i think that SOME people just say that because then they'll have some value to themselves because suddenly they have all these qualities that can be admired. like self-control and stuff. thats jst what i think. i do wanna wait till marriage but becuase i think sex is a special thing and a special bond that i only want to share with one guy.

exactly

some girls like to wait cause in a sense they do have the control. but some girls like to wait cause it's important to them and it's a special thing to experience with a special person-

me its both haha, but moreso in the experience-sense.

it's not so "easy" about virginity in my country. i'm talkin about girls. everything's changed alot, and nowadays they don' really care about keepin it until marriage (i mean most parts of girls don' care) but, accordin to traditions it's not appreciatable.

about guys it's just ok, fuc* as much as u can, the more u do it, the better u are :kiddin:

i think u mustn' waist ur time moaning silently about ur virginity and demands, do what u want , what nature demands from u to do

Hard to say. I am a virgin. But not because I'm religious and because I want to wait for marriage.

Like others mentioned before me, this mindset could be a trap. What if you found your so called mister-Right and you get married and you finally have sex....and you find out it's not all that you thought it would be? Like Sheyda said, what if you're not "compatible"? I mean, if he carts you of to the bedroom like a caveman dragging his mate to his lair and you're the romantic type, it could seriously strain an otherwise great relationship. The thing about sex is that it's both overrated and underrated. People who think it's just as trivial as say, your knitting hobby are in for a big surprise as are virgins with high expectations. But what do I know? I'm a virgin

As for marriage, I think it's your own values that make or break it. You have to be ready for it. Marriage is a huge commitment and until you (and your partner) actually realize that to the full extent, I don't think it'll last.

I don't want to wait until marriage because I think that's too big a risk. I mean, theoretically speaking the guy you share this experience with will be your first & last sexpartner. That kind of scares me. I mean, in the best of circumstances it could work, but it could also be one big disappointment. It's human to make mistakes and people in love are stupid. It's part of the condition. If your rose colored spectacles are deceiving you, it's not an easy case of "well, I tried that, let's move on" because you're stuck with a ring around your finger.

I think a lasting marriage is a combination between being soul mates, attraction and yes, good sex. That's my view on it.

The reason I'm still a virgin is because I haven't met a guy I wanted to share it with yet. I don't want love and sex to be two separate things. I don't want to have sex with someone who I don't love nor would I wait till marriage to seal the deal.

it's too late for me. if u wanna do it then do it, if you don't then don't. And don't kill yourself if u don't really wait until marriage, it's not the end of the world if you don;t - believe me.

hahhahahhahh! fuck you guys!!! i am! AND I DON'T EVEN GO TO CHURCH!!!

On a side note, I would ask the people who do want to wait, exactly what they think marriage changes. With the amount of failing marriages these days, people seem to get married for all the wrong reasons, or too young or whatever. Then it fails. I just don't see what marriage actually changes.

Well with the statement that marriage changes everything, for me personally, I think its the sacrifices of being single that you have to give up. Your whole lifestyle changes with marriage and bits and pieces of yourself and your personality have to change in order for the marriage to hold.

And most people can't deal with the fact that they have to change and let go. They keep denying the fact that not everything is perfect. They reason that 'if it's meant to be, then i don't have to change anything.' It doesn't work like that. Marriage is hard. Its not just a one way street. It's a give and take.

I know for a fact that in order for me to be a good wife to my husband I constantly have to prepare our meals and keep the house clean and ultimately keep my husband happy. With being single, all I have to worry about is me. Also, with married life, you can't keep the night life you once had as a single person. In my case, hopefully that doesn't apply because he'll want to go out together and see live shows and concerts. But if you are a clubber, that has to go!

I think it's just plain stupid. No sex compatibility, no real relationship!

Well with the statement that marriage changes everything, for me personally, I think its the sacrifices of being single that you have to give up. Your whole lifestyle changes with marriage and bits and pieces of yourself and your personality have to change in order for the marriage to hold.

And most people can't deal with the fact that they have to change and let go. They keep denying the fact that not everything is perfect. They reason that 'if it's meant to be, then i don't have to change anything.' It doesn't work like that. Marriage is hard. Its not just a one way street. It's a give and take.

I know for a fact that in order for me to be a good wife to my husband I constantly have to prepare our meals and keep the house clean and ultimately keep my husband happy. With being single, all I have to worry about is me. Also, with married life, you can't keep the night life you once had as a single person. In my case, hopefully that doesn't apply because he'll want to go out together and see live shows and concerts. But if you are a clubber, that has to go!

Wait, that doesn't have anything to do with waiting till you get married to have sex... or not.

Also, why are you comparing the lifestyle/differences of being single to being married? Obviously they're going to be drastically different.

But you don't go from being single to being married, you go from being single to being in a relationship with someone, and then to marriage.

unless your name is Britney

hahahaah! pretty close!

the question "exactly what they think marriage changes." is what i was answering. obviously, i was being selective.

well generally as a person in a relationship, you can still keep a singles lifestyle. In marriage, you can't do any of that, unless you're a really crappy husband or wife.

anyway...

like what vyshnavi... if you wanna fuck your brains out thats great, if you dont thats great too.

"i think that SOME people just say that because then they'll have some value to themselves because suddenly they have all these qualities that can be admired. like self-control and stuff. thats jst what i think. i do wanna wait till marriage but becuase i think sex is a special thing and a special bond that i only want to share with one guy."

its a matter of a certain amount of respect that you hold for yourself. i'm not saying people who don't wait don't have any self-respect. im saying its whatever you believe in. if you believe that being that being the greatest fuck is the best thing you can give yourself... then thats self-respect. if you believe saving yourself for the right man or woman, thats self respect!

I think it's just plain stupid. No sex compatibility, no real relationship!

ok well (assuming u're straight) u meet the most wonderful guy ever (for you) and u r compatible in every other way except sexually. would u leave him?

I am planning to wait till I am married, don't know why, but I guess that if a guy really likes me then he would wait and respect me

Oh, and my mom bought me a promise ring....I just wanted to say that...for some unknown reason.

No, she bought me the promise ring because I wanted one. She tells me that losing your virginity isn't that great but if you want to wait then I'll support you.

It's cool to wait, and certainly fucking around young isn't the best idea, but reality is reality. Waiting for marriage isn't realistic. You're going to go to college, probably. You're going to go to parties, you're going to get drunk. You're going to meet guys you really like. Love comes at you, or at least lust, and the reality is, you're going to end up closing a deal before you get married.

It's just reality. I'm not saying you should go fuck a random loser. But if you're in love with someone... it's going to happen sooner or later.