TheBaronOfFratton

"leg hump" for Baron .

Ah and that's a fine leg - a NOBLE leg. The kind of leg a man dreams of all those lonely nights at sea... With just his imagination, and those cruel elements for company.

Come on Joe, where's the rest of her?

I never understood why women are so attracted to Fabio

Yeah me either, he is to big :x I would like to get my arms around my man

and while I like long hair...I prefer it darker in color.(Lestat is the only exception to this rule )

i gotta good pic... well not good per se

but explosively funny :evil:

ever popular Suicide Girls have been

expanding their model searches to the middle east

^penny, I'm guessing you're not moonlighting at the United Nations?

no-- i wouldnt pass their background check.

i gotta good pic... well not good per se

but explosively funny :evil:

ever popular Suicide Girls have been

expanding their model searches to the middle east

^penny, I'm guessing you're not moonlighting at the United Nations?

no-- i wouldnt pass their background check.

It's a shame. Maybe they could do with a change of tactics.

Send in The Cougar...

Or use my Big Heart Thing!!!

"leg hump" for Baron .

Ah and that's a fine leg - a NOBLE leg. The kind of leg a man dreams of all those lonely nights at sea... With just his imagination, and those cruel elements for company.

Come on Joe, where's the rest of her?

... .

Baron!

How goes it? :brows:

"leg hump" for Baron .

Ah and that's a fine leg - a NOBLE leg. The kind of leg a man dreams of all those lonely nights at sea... With just his imagination, and those cruel elements for company.

Come on Joe, where's the rest of her?

... .

^Well of course you know she's always welcome on this thread!

I figured it was her leg from those Juicy Couture pictures...

"Yar! This picture will serve me well on those lonely nights at sea."

Baron!

How goes it? :brows:

Lady, you've been absent too long! Look what's happened to me in the meantime: I got one too!!!

Now you have to come and visit me in a neighbourly 'just-popped-round-for-a-cup-of-sugar' sort of way...

I know! It's amazing how much I missed in a week But congrats, my man! You totally deserve it

And of course I will

Not sure are you aware of Behati's Spring Break rendezvous If not, you need to see this

I'll be here waiting to comfort him

Poor poor Baron

Thank you for the warning, PinkCouture!

And thank you for condolences Red...

But don't you worry ladies, I've addressed such travesties on Behati's thread. The Baron will win out...

And I've even got my own fragrance now:

Where's yours, Strachan?!!!

Hola Baron!

I hope all is well with you.

oohhh Baron!

Hi.

<333

lololol

So, there I was on the autopista on my way to the beach - and I see this girl hitch-hiking out in the middle of nowhere. I slow down, partly out of curiosity because she looks cute - faded jeans, plaid shirt - partly because this is a pretty stupid thing to do out here.

When I pass by I see that actually she's really quite young - like 13/14; and my sense of chivalry takes over. I look about, just in case it's a set-up, but it really is the middle of nowhere. All around is just campo - dirt and bushes. There's nobody hiding anywhere...

She gets in the back seat and I ask her where she wants to go.

"El Cerrito". She replies.

I pull off, and glance back at her in my mirror. She's holding herself, shaking.

I ask her how she ended up out here. Halfway from the city to the coast. She looks up at me briefly, and then away again. I start to think something bad must have happened and don't push it. El Cerrito is a little pueblo off the route that I'm on - about 20 minutes drive. I introduce myself - but she doesn't respond. So I leave it again...

I make it about 2 minutes. It's odd sitting in a car in silence with a stranger in the back, and I can't help but say something, anything to get away from being uncomfortable. I ask if she wants the radio on. Nothing. I do the windows up as she's still shaking. My jacket is in the back seat too - although it's summer the beach gets cold at night. I ask her if she wants to borrow my jacket. At last - a response. Of sorts. She takes my jacket and smiles at me briefly. Then goes back to her thoughts.

I switch on the radio anyway. But I'm not really listening.

El Cerrito eventually looms into view. It's not very big. A cluster of houses at the foot of a 'little hill'. I pull of from the autopista into the village.

"Whereabouts can I drop you?". I ask her.

"El Cerrito." She says, again.

I sigh inwardly. You do a good deed and, well...

We pass a gas station and a cafe, a little church, some houses.

"STOP!" She suddenly says. I jump, and slam on the brakes. Luckily there're no other cars about. She opens the door and gets out. She turns and smiles at me, then heads off to the only house nearby.

Yeah, thanks I think. I turn the car around. As I go back to the main road I figure I might as well fill up with petrol whilst I'm here so I pull into the station. Then I remember - she's still got my jacket. I finish up and head back to the house.

"Excuse me," I say as a lady opens the door "I just gave your daughter a lift - I think she took my jacket by mistake."

"Como?" The lady replies. Shit, I think, should have gone for the 'sister' line. Probably offended her now.

"I, um, ahem - I, well I gave a young lady a lift home from the autopista. She got out here. She borrowed my jacket but I forgot to take it off of her."

"A young lady?"

"Yes."

"Here?"

"Yes."

The lady looks at me again, quizzically. She looks at my car, then back at me. There is a long silence. I guess this whole family aren't much for talking.

"Dios mio!" she says, and crosses herself. She walks back into the house, leaving the door open. I stand there, confused, and hear a commotion going on inside. A man comes to the door.

"You gave a young girl a lift?" He asks. I nod. "She was how old?"

"About 13."

"And what was she wearing?"

"Um, jeans, a plaid shirt I think..."

He crosses himself too. Inside I hear the woman cry.

"And where did you find her?"

I explain the place.

"Is there a problem?" I enquire.

The man looks me up and down, checking me out much like the woman did. Satisfied, he crosses himself again. He clears his throat.

"This is my daughter. She died up there, Hit-and-Run driver..."

I stare at him, not quite hearing him. He keeps on talking but he's lost me. Eventually he notices and he takes my arm.

"...I thank you, sir. I thank you for bringing our daughter home."

"But she - no... She was in the back seat. She spoke to me... Is this..?"

"A joke? No sir. This was 10 years ago. She is buried here, by the church, our Eugenia. This was no joke sir. It has happened before. She just wants to come home. No joke..."

I hear the lady cry anew. The man manages a small smile and, his hand still on my arm, he squeezes it. He shuts the door.

I sit there in the car for a while. My hands are clammy and my heart beats fast. I drink some water. Time passes.

OK... OK. Right, compose yourself.

I start the car up to leave.

Again I pass by the houses, the cafe, the church. The church! I pull over.

I don't know what I'm looking for. All I know is 'Eugenia'. I stand there amongst all the graves, not quite believing any of it. What are you doing?

But then, then I see it. And I can feel my body convulse. No...

But yes. I walk towards it. Sometimes your mind plays tricks on you and you know it's not real - just focus, just look. But not this time. Not now.

I crouch down next to the grave. Sure enough it reads: Eugenia Vesprini - as I knew it always would. Because there it is, draped over her grave...

...My jacket.

... i have no words

I think I have heard that story before - or at least a variation of it. I have always loved it for some reason

:brows: