TheBaronOfFratton

HAPPY FRIDAY BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB, Get DOWN with ya bad self

^Don't those guys have an Empire to protect? No wonder the Rebels have been making such inroads recently - like destroying the much-hyped 'Death Star'... Slackers!

And a happy Friday to you too, of course.

For all the GOOD things the rebel alliance does, i prefer the DARK SIDE, "doing my best impression of DARTH VADAR"

and your LITTLE DOG TO :evil:

Also G Lucas made a surprise guest appearance at hollywood studios Orlando Florida, and my hubby is having a MELT DOWN, cause he's not there, its the opening of star wars weekend, its surprisely FUN, but even more fun to laugh at the ones in full character costumes, and its like almost 100 degress and HUMID, LAWD LAWD

Also G Lucas made a surprise guest appearance at hollywood studios Orlando Florida, and my hubby is having a MELT DOWN, cause he's not there, its the opening of star wars weekend, its surprisely FUN, but even more fun to laugh at the ones in full character costumes, and its like almost 100 degress and HUMID, LAWD LAWD

i'd be losing it too. i'd love to meet him. first i'd ghug him for star wars, than i'd hit him for screwing it up. lol

Well according to the bible, we're all about to die. :morning:

BZ friends It's been a blast. See you on the other side . . . or possibly as a ghost haunting the same location (FINGERS CROSSED), or perhaps we'll be reincarnated as supermodels. . . or maybe we're all fucked and about to go to hell . . . or just perhaps we'll die, turn to dirt and return to once we came from... :morning: SO LONG GUYS!

^Bugger - well that's totally ruined my weekend.

I suppose I'd best make the most of today... Pah, who am I kidding? I'm just gonna waste it pissing about on here and having a few drinks later with other feckless types. :|

The planking resurgence may well have been the first sign of the apocalypse after all

I didn't know what planking was so I just looked it up. Um . . . Australia? . . . why? Why would you do this? QQ

WTF List of 2011

1. Japan

2. Canada

3. Australia

4. Europe

We'll have no more of this planking nonsense.

lolol git r done

Kids hope to attend party — but parents say world's going to end

Families divided as some people believe world will self-destruct on Saturday

The Haddad children of Middletown, Md., have a lot on their minds: school projects, SATs, weekend parties. And parents who believe the earth will begin to self-destruct on Saturday.

The three teenagers have been struggling to make sense of their shifting world, which started changing nearly two years ago when their mother, Abby Haddad Carson, left her job as a nurse to “sound the trumpet” on mission trips with her husband, Robert, handing out tracts. They stopped working on their house and saving for college.

Last weekend, the family traveled to New York, the parents dragging their reluctant children through a Manhattan street fair in a final effort to spread the word.

“My mom has told me directly that I’m not going to get into heaven,” Grace Haddad, 16, said. “At first it was really upsetting, but it’s what she honestly believes.”

Thousands of people around the country have spent the last few days taking to the streets and saying final goodbyes before Saturday, Judgment Day, when they expect to be absorbed into heaven in a process known as the rapture. Nonbelievers, they hold, will be left behind to perish along with the world over the next five months.

With their doomsday T-shirts, placards and leaflets, followers — often clutching Bibles — are typically viewed as harmless proselytizers from outside mainstream religion. But their convictions have frequently created the most tension within their own families, particularly with relatives whose main concern about the weekend is whether it will rain.

Kino Douglas, 31, a self-described agnostic, said it was hard to be with his sister Stacey, 33, who “doesn’t want to talk about anything else.”

Also G Lucas made a surprise guest appearance at hollywood studios Orlando Florida, and my hubby is having a MELT DOWN, cause he's not there, its the opening of star wars weekend, its surprisely FUN, but even more fun to laugh at the ones in full character costumes, and its like almost 100 degress and HUMID, LAWD LAWD

i'd be losing it too. i'd love to meet him. first i'd ghug him for star wars, than i'd hit him for screwing it up. lol

Any 'Slave Leia's' there LMS? seems like a costume perfectly designed for such weather...

The planking resurgence may well have been the first sign of the apocalypse after all

Kids hope to attend party — but parents say world's going to end

Prince sounds a better bet - he's just a harmless little dancing man in a leotard.

When is this End Of The World going to kick off anyway? Well, it's not 00:00 GMT, as that's just passed. Maybe it's a US time zone, because that's what God would have wanted isn't it? But which zone does he like best? Pray harder Mountain, else you won't get raptured.

Well, if I have to eat my words in Hell I trust I'll see you all there?

The men were incredibly shady but the women, have mercy, havent seen hotter women anywhere. Romanian women in general are stunning.

Never had the pleasure of visiting (and eating) in San Sebastian. Or Osaka come to that. And now the world is ending and I won't get the chance - bummer. <_<

Baron I know you hate them, and normally I do to... but F*ckin ponies! Why they so cute?

Lots of control, screaming and hollering, passion... Err... anyone thinking what I'm thinking?

Fucking calm down, Fluttershy. Jesus Christ.

Also G Lucas made a surprise guest appearance at hollywood studios Orlando Florida, and my hubby is having a MELT DOWN, cause he's not there, its the opening of star wars weekend, its surprisely FUN, but even more fun to laugh at the ones in full character costumes, and its like almost 100 degress and HUMID, LAWD LAWD

i'd be losing it too. i'd love to meet him. first i'd ghug him for star wars, than i'd hit him for screwing it up. lol

^You mean you didn't appreciate all the intrigue of the machinations of the Trade Federation, plus the "hilarious" Jar-Jar Binks???

Any 'Slave Leia's' there LMS? seems like a costume perfectly designed for such weather...

the slave Leia's usually are at the conventions not the weekends, the hubby went to the one they had in orlando, and they were EVERYWHERE, and SOME shouldntt have been dressed like slave leia's

Kids hope to attend party — but parents say world's going to end

Families divided as some people believe world will self-destruct on Saturday

...

:| :|

Add USA to the WTF list?

I don't know where to begin trying to comprehend that level of crazy faith/belief.

What did Canada do by the way?

Must be something about the team you support Neil Armstrong

Just kidding

^The good denizens of Fratton can just about get by without my constant patronage, but it's best not to leave them unattended for too long...

Ah, yes, Natalia... It will perhaps not surprise you to know that that's not the first time I've been nudged towards her charms! But it seems the girl is into yiffing 'furries' - no good will come of that.

I understand she's quite famous down there in South America somewhere... Colombia?

I wish I was that teddy bear

I see I have an archnemesis. Well we probably should meet first. My name is firstonthe moon, and Im a manc, prepare to die! ok, now you can be my moriarty. Anyway I dont expect us to win n4, barca will win, probably with a good old fashion referee hand (baron knows well about hands and helps...eh from refs.... I mean being argentine.. for maradona... oh no he didnt!)

Messi sorry to say baron, seems a lot happier and mroe identified with barca than with argentina. Didnt he emigrate to spain when he was 12 or 13? Im afraid he probably feels mroe catalan than argentine at this point. Catalans are passionately patriotic people and they make foreigners like their country by hook or by crook

DIE NEIL ARMSTRONG :knives: I like the thought of being Moriarty. Have you seen the BBC's Sherlock mini-series. Their depiction of Moriarty was rather singular to put it in the words of Arthur Conan Doyle, but I did appreciate a navy Westwood suit and crisp white club collar shirt - clothes that every man needs...kinda. But I digress! I beg to differ. I think Manyoo actually have a very good chance to win this cup and it should be a good contest. I suspect Fergie will learn from last time and not be so zealous to get that early goal. Apparently Owen is playing as David Villa in training

The Rapture 2011: Kiss Your Ass Goodbye!

The end is nigh! Seriously kids, May 21st begins “The Rapture of 2011”. This is the day that Jesus H. Christ will come back to earth (but probably not Kentucky or Canada) and resurrect the dead bodies of true “saved” Christians while simultaneously lifting still living Christians into the air, plaguing the rest of us with earthquakes, floods, and locusts that will sting the shit out of us…FOR 5 FUCKING MONTHS! Beat that Chris Angel!

There is a beacon of light at the end of this apocalyptic tunnel. We have five full months to party our asses off while Satan and Mr. Christ duke it out in an epic “Fight Club” style battle. And you thought Jesus was some kind of Birkenstock wearing, dope smoking, hippie pacifist!

I always knew Texas would have something to do with the end of the world.

You may be thinking; “How the fuck does this asshole know when the rapture will come?” Good question! It’s math, stupid. Sure, it’s a crazy nonsensical math, but it’s math nonetheless! Let me break it down for you:

The last time God unleashed his wrath and destroyed the entire planet was in 4990 BC. You’ve probably heard the story…Noah…big boat…two of each animal.

Genesis 7:4 For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth.

Peter 3:6-8 Whereby the world that then was, being overflowed with water, perished: But the heavens and the earth, which are now, by the same word are kept in store, reserved unto fire against the day of judgment and perdition of ungodly men. But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.

It’s so obvious! In Genesis God drops us a hint. For yet 7 days. Then in Peter he gives us another hint: One day is as a thousand years. 7x1000=7000. Now you have to add that 7000 to the last time God destroyed the Earth. 4990. But that is BC so it would actually be a negative number.

-4990+7000=2010.

Now every dumbass knows that when you use dates from the Old and New Testament as equations you add a 1.

2010+1=2011 HOLY FUCK!

So now we know without a doubt (because we used math) that the year of the Rapture is 2011, but what about the actual day of May 21st. I’m glad you asked. Let’s go back to Genesis.

Math + Science = Religion!

Genesis 7:11 In the six hundredth year of Noah’s life, in the second month, the seventeenth day of the month, the same day were all the fountains of the great deep broken up, and the windows of heaven were opened.

You have to convert the biblical calendar date to a modern calendar date. The 2nd month is April/May and the 17th day is…you know what just trust me…or convert it yourself using this here. http://www.truebiblecode.com/understanding4.html

So you might sleep with me if the world was gonna end?

So there you have it. Harold Camping, the guy who mis-predicted the 1994 rapture has finally cracked the code…with math. So starting on the 21st of May we will have 5 months to enjoy amazing group sex, mind altering drugs, looting, and probably a Thelma and Louise style crime spree. I guess we may have time to repent and give our lives over to Christ, but instead, I’m going to make the most awesome rapture mixtape. I hope you do the same and share it with me, because what is an eternity of pure love and peace compared to 5 whole months without the morality shackles of religion?

BRING ON THE zombie apocalypse

The Liverpool fan approach is more like "Hi, I'm a Liverpool fan, TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES BEFORE I STAB YA, WOMAN!" and then we take the clothes and run away and pawn it off for some money

I was referring to the new one where Sherlock is gay and Moriarty makes an appearance in the final episode...as a gay guy. Must've been part of his plan to misdirect Sherlock!

If any team could beat them it was Madrid (or Arsenal if UEFA didn't intervene lol) and they partially succeeded. I think you guys have a good chance though, considering you're in-form and Barca's been slowly running out of steam for the past 3 months; they don't look anywhere close to the side they were earlier in the year Fergie's been tapping up Mourinho for advice too, so the tactics should be interesting. I expect Manyoo to adopt a high-tempo approach from the start to take advantage of the Barca's tired legs and Fletcher's presence in midfield will be key imo. One week to go.

Blasphemous Purdyphilia! heresy!!!!!

I'm actually typing from Australia where it is 6pm 21st May 2011 ALREADY. The people here have liquified and the gooey substance we have become has formed into a giant ball of slime becoming a collective consciousness. I, being a responsible member of the right hand, have been trying to force this giant being to fap.

On a side note, I find it very considerate that God has decided to take into account different time zones across the world and is slowly releasing the rapture one timezone at a time, so that it doesn't inconvenience people. People still need to run their errands you know! I think this is evidence of God's undying love and benevolence, dying and suffering aside.

And just in case you guys have pets that won't be going to heaven, you can get Atheists (who have no souls) to look after them right here: http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/. Whoever knew Atheists would be so useful, even if they are uneducated.

Funny how you Baron described Brooklyn to look like 'a soccer mum', I've heard this description about her before. It sounds fitting....

just like describing her as 'basic'

In Slovakia, we have this "racial" problem with gypsies, as seen from the EU sight, they call us "racist" and say all this bullshit about how badly are gypsies treated in our country.

The other FACTS they don´t see is how violent most of these people are. Don´t get me wrong, there are many people of gypsy ancestry that live a normal life, are talented musicians, actors, or just live a normal, ordinary life, working and trying to prove theirselves, but there are so few of them, unfortunately, that the "general" view on gypsies is bad - they are lazy, violent thiefs, they don´t want to work, live in dorps together, have two kids already in 15 and eleven or more lately, living from the social benefits and what state gives them... and what does our goverment do? They build block of flats for them FOR FREE. They move them there, the gypsies demolatin it all in a half a year or so, and then they give them ANOTHER block of flats which is built solely for them... and other Slovaks are angry, asking, WHO the hell is going to give ME a flat for free? No one. Normal Slovak can´t afford to raise more than 1 or 2 kids and even then he is happy that he can at least have these 2 kids... and these gypsies will shout and rant about how racist we are to them. And EU the same. It´s gross.

And, on the other hand, Slovaks are known for their hospitality and generosity for foreigners (maybe it has something to do with hiding foreign soldiers when the war was running or over, people just didn´t care if he´s German or Russian or any other, if he was hungry or needed a shelter, they were there and helped), and, of course, when some foreigner tries to speak Slovak, it´s a big honour for us - because frankly, no one gives a shit about our language. So when someone does, we are very excited for that...

Sorry for such a long blah blah

Jennka this reminded me of a conversation I had with my friends some time ago.

I remember when I visited Slovakia, it seemed to me like every 10th person (or even more) was a Gypsy. We have them too, but not as many, especially since all these Schengen zone regulations.

The sad truth is, that the only 'good' Gypsies I've heard about/seen were the ones on tv, and let's be honest, there weren't that many of them. Every Gypsy I've seen/known in person was 'bad'. Bad as being unemployed by choice, thieves and shameless beggars. The worst thing, an unfortunately not so uncommon sight is Gypsy women with children begging for money on trams. They start singing, or rather moaning in awful voices and beg you for 'money for food'. And I've heard of examples when people, who actually had foor with them to offer these beggars, well.... they (Gypsies) didn't take them. Suspicious eh? These kids can also be quite aggresive. There was this article from a high profile magazine I've read a few years ago about how they are organized. There are some men controlling the whole business. They send women with small children to beg for money, and unfortunately, despite adverts on trams and buses to NOT give money to people who ask them people are so naive they give some money. And as these Gypsies go to several trams each day, then you can imagine they manage to get quite a lot of money 'for food'. So much that they live in better conditions than one would think. Oh and in the mentioned article there was this begging strategy described. Women are usually given not their children, and not older than 6 years old (older ones are send to wash windows of people's cars on busy roads; they clean them when all cars are stopped at red light very often, they start doing it even if no one agreed to let them do it) but preferably babies. And these babies are given bottled milk with aspirin, so that aspiring will make them sleep=no crying while begging for money.

What I've written might have sounded racist but that's how it is. I know that every nationality has people they can pride in and others are well, social parasites.... but I've never known a Gypsy person, excluding the ones you see on tv that I could say anything nice about.

isnt that the truth?

did you see what a few cheeky manc monkeys did in anfield the other day?

I probably shoudn't perpetuate stereotypes

but it was too temptoing

WTF? moriarty is gay too? thats just going too far. did he like the village people and dressed like elton john?

How did you know? I find the modern incarnation of Sherlock rather House-like, though House was based on Sherlock Holmes . I don't know what to make of Cumberbatch's autistic interpretation of Sherlock though.

I think we stand a better chance than madrid or arsenal because we're a better team than both, and especially we have a fantastic defence. But for me the key is our work rate, unparalleled in world football and something barca only encountered last year against Inter, and possibly ours is far more impressive. What we lack in skill we more than make up in effort, which could be my motto as well. I dont believe fergie has really taken any notes from mourinho, thats press bollocks. Fergie has beaten barca before and knows how to beat them again. Of course in the end depends if United players will have a good day or not. Id say as it stands today we have around 40% chances, Barca are favourites. BTW, have you bought your barca scarf and shirt for the final? not saying is your case, you dont sound too bitter, but every scouser I know has suddenly become a barca fan, just as I was a rabid rossoneri everytime you guys played them (damn istambul! :yuckky: )

I hope you meant team as in a unit. Anyway, assuming you did I might just add my 2 cents. Madrid aren't a bad team/unit. They were horrible at the start of the season but now it seems everyone is on the same wavelength as Mourinho and we'll probably see even better performances next season. As for Arsenal, they're a good team so I'd say Madrid, Manyoo and Arsenal are all fine teams and I'd rank them in the same tier. It seems that teams playing this Barca side for a 2nd (or 3rd or 4th or 5th) time have improved immensely against them. Considering the circumstances, I rate this final at 50/50.

It's funny that a lot of Manyoo fans say they've beaten Barca before (I'm assuming in reference to the game with Paul Scholes' wonder goal) but never take into account that it was a different Barca team that was definitely on its way down, rather than up. Maybe it's just the name that counts after all. There's always communication between managers and let's face it, Fergie's not the greatest tactician. Even if he were, he'd be pretty silly not to get some outside help from another equally great tactician that has played Barca 5 times this season. And Mourinho, being the petty baby that he is, will definitely not pass up a chance to share some wine with Fergie hahaha.

As for the Barca scarfs and shirts, I support a bigger club (that is in bigger debt as well): Valencia. If I had money to spend it wouldn't be on Barca products :trout:

Who do you think will win Baron?